


Of Dogs and Puppy Dog Eyes

by ha5rika



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: A Little Bit Of Crack, Age Difference, Community: spn_meanttobe, Dogs, M/M, Mentions of Eating Disorder and Self-Harm, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-02
Updated: 2015-07-02
Packaged: 2018-04-07 07:49:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 28,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4255227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ha5rika/pseuds/ha5rika
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Author of graphics novels and self proclaimed introvert Jensen Ackles is recently divorced and is not looking for a relationship. All he wants to do is focus on himself and pretend his problems don't exist. Part of that plan is to get a new home in the suburbs and a dog.</p><p>Two things happen that completely destroy this plan of Jensen's: 1. He gets a dog. 2. He gets a Jared.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Dogs and Puppy Dog Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Written for SPN Meant-to-be prompt 4: For Nina Askew, turning forty means freedom--from the ex-husband, freedom from their stuffy suburban home, freedom to focus on what she wants for a change. And what she wants is something her ex always vetoed--a puppy. A bouncy, adorable puppy. Instead she gets...Fred.
> 
> Overweight, middle-aged, a bit smelly and obviously depressed, Fred is light-years from perky. But he does manage to put Nina in the path of Alex Moore, her gorgeous, younger-by-a-decade neighbor.
> 
> Alex seems perfect--he's a sexy, seemingly sane, surprisingly single E.R. doctor--but the age gap convinces Nina that anyone but Alex would be better relationship material. But with every silver-haired stiff she dates, the more she suspects it's the young, dog-loving doc she wants to sit and stay!

 

 

_“I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight._

_But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you._

_Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together.”_

_― Lisa Kleypas_

 

 

Chris said that Jensen was going through a midlife crisis. Well, Chris could go screw himself.

Yes, Jensen put his multi-million dollar condo in West Village up in the market, sold his fancy Jaguar, declared an indefinite hiatus at work and moved into a suburban neighborhood in Queens with a ’67 Chevy Impala. But that doesn’t mean anything. After separating from his wife of 10 years Jensen just needed a fresh start.

Sitting in his brand new third-handed muscle car in front of his colonial style house with a large German Sheppard in the passenger seat, Jensen wondered if Chris might have had a point.

Dog lifted his big, sad, brown eyes to meet his and snorted, his ears drooping forward pathetically. He continued to sulk with his head on his front paws, glaring daggers at the human who disrupted his peaceful schedule of eating, moping, sleeping and moping some more at the shelter.

Jensen got out of the car and opened the passenger door motioning for Dog to get out. When that didn’t work Jensen whistled, walked a few steps towards the house to see if Dog would follow him, perkily shouted “C’mon, boy, let’s go,” while nudging the dog with his hands to move. Dog finally got annoyed enough to get to his feet and get out of the car but stood on the pavement with his head hanging low, looking for all the world like getting adopted was the worst thing that happened to him.

Jensen sighed. So clearly Dog needed some training. And he should probably give the animal a better name than ‘Dog’.

Riffling through the starter dog products that he purchased on the way home, Jensen found the leash to attach to Dog’s collar. It was obvious that Dog needed some persuading before he’d follow Jensen into the house. Jensen should probably have gotten a dog cage but the shelter didn’t have any of Dog’s size to spare him and Genevieve had insisted that Dog was very well-behaved. Genevieve had obviously oversold Dog’s training.

It took some tugging and pulling, some prodding and a lot of nudging to get Dog into the house. Jensen deposited the animal in the living room in front of the fireplace and said, “Stay.” Dog gave him a look that seemed to say, _Yeah, whatever, asshole_ , before plopping down on the carpet to continue his moping.

By the time Jensen got Dog’s dog bed and other supplies of the car, Dog had taken to lying on his side and staring morosely at the yard outside. Thinking that Dog wanted to play or maybe stretch his legs, Jensen opened the French doors that led into the yard.

“Come on, boy.” Jensen whistled and clapped his hands. “Let’s go outside. You wanna play? You wanna play?” Dog stared at him like he had lost his mind. “No? Okay. Alright.” Jensen sighed heavily, running his hand down his face.

Looking at Dog, Jensen realized that he might possibly be in over his head.

Either Dog wasn’t potty trained or he gave zero fucks about Jensen’s imported carpet because by the time Jensen had arranged dinner for the both of them, Dog had deposited a pile of poop in the living room. Dog sat guard beside his feces and when he saw Jensen come in, he tilted his head to the side. _What are going do about it?_ the look seemed to say. Jensen glanced at the open French doors and back at Dog before sighing and got to poop picking.

 

Dogs had a great PR team. Everyone told you how cute puppies were and how they were your best friend and all that but most people don’t mention the effort that goes into raising pets. They most certainly don’t tell you about how smelly the poop is. Jensen wondered if that was normal. At least the stools were firm. He had learned from an advertisement for Pedigree that it was a good thing.

After washing his hands for the fifth time, Jensen put a bowl of dog food in Dog’s bowl and sat down in the living room with his new companion to have dinner.

“What do you think we should name you?” Jensen asked around a mouthful of Chinese takeout.

Dog stayed stoically silent. He even ate his food unenthusiastically.

“You don’t talk much, do you?”

Dog huffed. _No shit, genius_.

“I’m thinking Carnegie. Carnie for short. What do you think?”

Dog padded over to the dog bed and dropped to his side facing away from Jensen, giving him the cold shoulder.

“Jeez, you could have said you didn’t like it, man. No need to get all pissy on me.” Jensen continued to eat his dinner, occasionally checking on Dog from the corner of his eye. Dog didn’t seem to be asleep. He was simply ignoring Jensen, probably hoping that the annoying human would go away.

“What about Oscar?”

Dog’s ears perked a little.

“Oscar it is then.”

 

 

 

 

When Jensen moved out of the apartment that he had shared with Danneel he had tried to be optimistic. He had just found out that his wife was cheating on him with one of his closest friends and a part of him was devastated. There was also that part of him that was strangely relieved. Danneel and he had lost whatever they had between them a long time ago, each of them sticking to the pretense of marriage for the stability it brought rather than the happiness they should have been bringing each other. They just didn’t work anymore. Jensen was almost glad that the charade had come to an end before they began hating each other – if they didn’t already.

No, having his wife cheat on him wasn’t the worst part as fucked up as it sounds. The worst part was what followed later. Along with all their stuff and properties Jensen and Danneel also had to divide their friends among each other. Most of them had taken Danneel’s side, which was to be expected since most of them were Danneel’s friends first. What Jensen hadn’t expected was his parents taking Danneel’s side. His parents had always loved Danneel, seen her as the perfect kind of daughter-in-law to brag to your country club friends about. They thought that his inattention towards Danneel and his love for his work were what drove her away. It might have been true but it painted Jensen as the villain in his own sob story.

After the whole debacle Jensen did what he does best: run away from his problems. He bought a house in the suburbs of Queen where he knew none of his friends lived and refused to keep in touch with anyone but his publisher slash best friend, Chris.

Despite what Danneel often said Jensen wasn’t a pessimistic, grumpy old man. He did try to look at the brighter side of things. He did. He knew that getting divorced wasn’t all that bad. He got out of a loveless marriage and he was now free to focus on himself and what he wanted. He didn’t have to pretend to like the stuffy, all white apartment he lived in or drive around in that piece of euro-trash Danneel called a car.

He could now get something that he had always wanted since he was a little boy and something that his ex-wife had always vetoed – a bouncy, adorable puppy.

Seeing Oscar sitting on the couch as he continued to ignore Jensen’s attempts to get him to play, it was hard to remain optimistic.

Just about when Jensen was ready to bang his head into a wall his phone rang, giving him a welcome distraction from the depressed dog. He wasn’t all that happy when he saw who the caller was though.

“Chris,” Jensen greeted, short and clipped.

“I see you still haven’t got your panties out of a twist,” Chris said, his smile obvious across the phone line.

“What do you want?” Jensen groaned. After spending his morning washing Oscar until his fur stopped smelling like a rotting banana peel, with no help from the dog whatsoever, Jensen was tired. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with Chris.

“I was just calling to check on you, man,” Chris said, sounding genuine. Jensen sighed. Chris might be an asshole at times but he was still Jensen’s best friend, the one person who stood by his side during his whole ordeal with Danneel and the divorce. Jensen knew that the guy was worried about him.

“I’m fine,” Jensen said. He wasn’t lying. He was fine, much better than he had been a few months ago.

“Yeah, sure you are. Listen, a couple of buddies mine and I are going out tonight. Wanna come?”

Jensen didn’t even have to consider the offer. “No, man. Thanks, but I’ll pass.”

“You have to get out sometime Jensen,” Chris said. “Get back on the horse so to speak. You are not going to catch a handsome hunk or a pretty bimbo to have sex with if you sit around and mope in your house.”

“I’m not moping.” After seeing Oscar, Jensen now had a new definition for moping. “Besides, it’s only been a couple of weeks since I stopped being a married man. Let me enjoy being single.”

“But that’s what being single means,” Chris said. “Going to town and hitting on every piece of moving ass you can find.”

“Not everyone is a horn dog like you, Chris.” Jensen peered into the living room to check on Oscar and saw the couch vacated. Oscar wasn’t anywhere to be seen. The French doors. Shit! He had left them open and the back yard didn’t have a dog-proof fence. Fuck!

“All I’m saying is you need to get out more if you want to – ”

“Oscar!” Jensen yelled when he saw that the yard was empty too.

“Oscar? Who’s Oscar?”

“My dog,” Jensen replied absently as he looked around for the German Sheppard. The dog was a lazy son of a bitch. Surely he couldn’t have left the yard.

“Your what?”

“I’ll talk to you later. Bye, Chris.” Jensen hung up on his friend, real panic setting in when he didn’t find the dog anywhere in the yard. Oscar wasn’t even trained to respond to his name yet and Jensen hadn’t had the time yesterday to get a collar with his address on it. Fuck, this wasn’t good.

Before Jensen could breakdown and call 911 or something, he spotted a mass of brown fur in his neighbor’s backyard and the tension in his shoulders melted into an exhale.

“Oscar, there you are,” Jensen whispered as he jumped over his neighbor’s fence. He looked around to make sure that no one was watching. The last thing he needed right now was to have the cops called on him.

“What’re you doing here, boy?” Jensen asked, crouching down in front of the dog and rubbing his flank. Oscar spared him a glance before staring mindlessly ahead with his head on his paws.

“All right. Let’s go home. Come on.” Jensen nudged at the dog. He so needed to get his dog out before his neighbor sees him. For all he knows it could a big burly asshole or an annoying old lady with a scratched pavement kind of voice. Judging by the flowerbed nearby, which now smelled more like dog urine rather than daffodils, it was the latter.

“Come on, boy. Let’s go.” Jensen looked around nervously. He wasn’t caught yet. “Dude, come on. Please? I’ll get you all the dog treats you could want if you just come with me before we get caught.”

“Dog troubles?” he heard someone say behind him and Jensen froze. Shit! He was so screwed!

Jensen slapped the most charming smile he could muster and turned around to face his neighbor, ready to sweet talk his way out of the situation. But the moment he laid eyes on the guy, Jensen’s mouth ran dry and all coherent thought in his brain evaporated.

Figures that Jensen’s next door neighbor would be hot as sin. Because Jensen could never catch a break.

The guy was tall. Really tall. At 6’1” Jensen rarely had to look up at someone but this guy easily had a couple of inches on him. While his body was all lean muscle and hard planes, his face was boyish, framed by unruly hair that reached his shoulder and bangs that feel just shy of covering his eyes. The guy had a warm smile bracketed by deep dimples and the most gorgeous blue-green eyes Jensen had ever seen.

Before Jensen could sputter like a teenager with a crush and make a gigantic fool of himself, Oscar sat up and barked, wagging his tail in greeting. Jensen frowned in confusion as Oscar greeted the stranger with more enthusiasm than he had ever shown around him. Honestly, Jensen was kinda jealous.

His Sasquatch of a neighbor folded himself into a crouch before Oscar and started petting the dog. “Hey boy, what are you doing here?” he asked. Oscar sniffed the guy’s hand and started licking it.

“I take it you two know each other?” Jensen asked, still confused.

The guy jumped a little, almost as if he forgot for a moment that he had human company but then turned to Jensen with a bright smile. Then he began his verbal vomit.

“I’m sorry, that was rude of me. I’m Jared, your neighbor. A shitty one at that. I’ve been meaning to come over and properly welcome you into the neighborhood but work’s been kicking my ass, you see. I mean don’t get me wrong, I love being a doctor and helping people but I don’t even have time to shave or shower anymore.” Jared winced. “Oops, shouldn’t have mentioned that. I’m sorry, I just get really excited when I meet new people and start talking a mile a minute.”

At that Jared stopped talking, probably because he ran out of breath, and gave him an apologetic shrug. He was more of a puppy than Oscar was. “It’s okay,” Jensen said with a smile. “I’m Jensen. I’d shake your hand but you’ve got dog drool all over it.”

Jared laughed. “New dog owner?”

Jensen nodded. “You still haven’t answered my original question.”

“Oh yeah, I know this big guy,” Jared said nodding towards Oscar, who had retreated to his default mode – moping – now that the excitement had died down. Only now he was lying with his head near Jared’s feet as Jared ran his long fingers through his fur. “I volunteer at Gen’s shelter whenever I can. This guy’s been there for a while.”

Jensen could imagine. Most people, including himself, preferred playful puppies over middle-aged dogs. He wouldn’t have brought Oscar if Gen hadn’t managed to convince him that an older dog would be perfect for a first time dog owner.

“So does that mean you won’t be angry when I tell you that my dog peed in your flowerbeds?” Jensen asked hopefully.

Jared looked over to the flowerbeds and then at Oscar. “He peed in the flowerbeds? He was very well-behaved at the shelter.” He didn’t sound angry, just a little concerned.

“He was probably trying to get back at me,” Jensen said. “He doesn’t like me very much.” Jensen braved putting his hand on Oscar close to Jared’s and when Jared didn’t pull back he began to slowly pet the dog.

Jared gave him a sympathetic smile. “Don’t take it personally. He’s had a tough life.”

Jensen frowned at Jared. “Was he abused? Genevieve didn’t tell me anything about it.” He found himself actually concerned about Oscar. They haven’t become the best of friends yet but Jensen loved dogs and the thought of anyone treating the animals with anything but complete love and care made him sick.

Jared pulled his hand back and sat next to Oscar, folding his legs Indian style and placing his hands in his lap. His voice was soft when he spoke. “Not abused, per se. We didn’t find any evidence of mistreatment when we got him. But we think he was abandoned by his family. Someone tied his leash to the lamppost outside the shelter and left him there.”

“Poor thing,” Jensen whispered as he petted Oscar between the ears. Oscar didn’t seem to be uncomfortable under his ministrations but he didn’t look happy either. He continued to stare sullenly ahead. Jensen realized that maybe there was a reason for why the dog was so unhappy all the time.

“Yeah,” Jared whispered back, his eyes sad, but filled with love, as he looked at Oscar.

Jensen would be blind to not notice how much Jared seemed to care about Oscar and the dog for his part seemed to like Jared much better than Jensen or even Genevieve. And despite the slight jealousy, he was happy that Oscar found someone to connect with. “Did you have a name for him when he was at the shelter?” Jensen asked softly. “Genevieve said I should give him a new name but he doesn’t seem to like the name I gave him.”

Jared looked up, startled. “He came with a name tag – Rocky. Not very imaginative, I know. We didn’t change it because we thought the family that would adopt him might want to give him a new name. You should continue using the name you gave him. It will take time but he will start to respond. He’ll come to accept that you are his family now.”

“Oscar. I named him Oscar,” Jensen said. For some strange reason, he was looking for approval from Jared.

“That’s a nice name,” Jared said and smiled.

“You seem to know a lot about dogs. Do you have one?”

Jared pouted adorably and Jensen swore that his heart melted a little in his chest. “Sadly, no. I don’t have the time to be able to care for a dog 24/7, with my job and all. I wish I did, but I don’t. I was actually thinking of adopting Rocky – I mean Oscar – myself if he didn’t find a family in the next couple of days. I just couldn’t let them put him down.”

“He was going to be put down?” Jensen asked, his hands unconsciously curling protectively over his dog.

“He’s been with us for over a month and no matter how much Gen and I tried the owners wouldn’t let us keep him longer.” Jared looked a little embarrassed as he scratched the back of his head. “I guess Gen didn’t tell you that part, huh?”

“No she didn’t. But I guess that explains why she was so eager to make sure I adopted Oscar.”

“Yeah…” Jared trailed off with a small laugh. Then his eyes widened comically and he sat up straight. “That doesn’t mean you are giving him up again, are you? I swear he’s a good boy. He’ll come around if you give him some time –”

“Whoa, Jared, calm down, okay?” Jensen cut him off. “I didn’t say anything about giving him up,” Jensen said, sounding indignant. “I know he’s gonna take some work but, I’m not going to abandon him.” Jensen said the last bit to Oscar, running his fingers over his flank. Oscar eyed him suspiciously but otherwise gave no reaction.

“Thank you so much,” Jared said, breathing a sigh of relief. He threw his hands over Jensen’s shoulder, hugging him across Oscar, much to Jensen’s surprise.

“I might need your help to take care of him though,” Jensen said, holding his breath.

Oscar huffed. _Yeah, right. You just want to get into his pants._

 _I do not_ , Jensen thought at his dog.

“Sure, man. Anything,” was Jared’s cheerful reply.

 

 

 

 

Jensen had his notebook open and his Bic Mattic in his hand, ready to go. But for the past one hour, the pages have remained pathetically blank and the pencil did nothing but tap its butt against the pages.

Usually imagination wasn’t so hard to come by. Whenever Jensen started working on his new graphic novel, he almost always had a basic design for his characters and the settings in the back of his mind. This time he was writing about a man who is a part of a psychological experiment. The man is put into a medical sleep in which he experiences a vivid, computer generated dream of a perfect world. Slowly the technicians controlling the dreamscape start chipping away pieces of this utopian world, alerting the dreamer to the fact that his world is collapsing around him. But the man refuses to wake up and stubbornly chooses to believe that all is fine with his world.

Jensen had spent months working on the story, the plot, the characters and their motivations. Sometimes he had stayed up until 4 in the morning in his office, back at the condo he shared with Danneel, to work on a single scene. He had to admit, his obsession with his work was one of the reasons his wife had cheated on him. But it was all supposed to be worth it. The heart-ache, the long hours, the back pain, his mother’s angry calls about ignoring her… they were all supposed to be worth it. It was _supposed_ to be.

Sketching and designing was usually Jensen’s favorite part. He got to bring characters to life, add colors (even if sometimes they were just black and grey) to his imaginary worlds. After that came the long and arduous task of drawing every single panel of his book but the designing was always the fun part. He preferred to do it on paper with simple pens and pencils. Then he sketched out particular scenes or settings that he liked the most and added them to his journal. Using these sketches as the base, he did the rest of illustration digitally. Even though he loved it, the digital sketching felt a little impersonal. That was why he loved the designing process. It was _supposed_ to be fun.

Then why was he having a hard time coming up with anything for his main character?

Artist’s block used to be a foreign concept to Jensen. Not anymore.

“Great! Just what I needed in my life,” he muttered.

Oscar whined and Jensen looked up from his book to find Oscar looking at him curiously, his head tilted to the side. The dog was still sitting in his bed in front of the fire place, a chew toy abandoned in front of him. Jensen had tried so hard to get him interested in the piece of plastic but Oscar hadn’t budged. Jensen finally gave up and settled for petting the dog while he ate his lunch. The dog seemed more tolerant towards Jensen when he was being fed.

Jensen hadn’t set up an office in his new house yet so he had sat himself on the sofa in the living room, hoping to take advantage of the natural lighting. The afternoon sunlight spilled in through the open curtains lighting up the room in bright yellow hues. It was a beautiful day outside.

Making a quick decision, Jensen shut his book and grabbed Oscar’s leash. “Come on, Oscar,” he said, whistling to get the dog’s attention. “We are going out for a walk.”

Oscar lifted his head and whined. _I don’t wanna go anywhere_.

“Nope, the puppy dog eyes aren’t gonna work on me. We both need some sunlight and a reminder that a world exists outside of our brooding.”

Oscar continued to be uncooperative as Jensen attached the leash. “You ain’t gonna get out of this, you might as well just do it. Come on. Chop, chop!”

Reluctantly Oscar stood up, his tail flicking in annoyance. And even though he followed Jensen into the backyard without any more complaints he looked like he was walking a funeral march. Jensen sighed heavily. He wasn’t happy about forcing Oscar to do stuff but the dog needed a walk. It couldn’t be healthy for him to stay cooped up inside the house all day… and neither was it healthy for Jensen.

“Howdy neighbor,” Jared greeted from across the fence and Oscar perked up at the voice, if only a little.

Jensen smiled and tipped his imaginary hat. “How’re you doin’ this fine evenin’?” Jensen asked with a smirk, letting his Texan drawl slip through.

Jared grinned. “No way! You’re from Texas too?”

“Born and bred,” Jensen replied.

Jared bounded over to their shared fence, leaning over it. “Where in Texas are you from?”

“Dallas. You?”

“San Antonio. My parents live in Austin now.” Jared laughed and shook his head causing his bangs to fall across his eyes. “Man, it’s good to know someone from back home.”

“I know – ” Jensen started, only to be cut off by Oscar’s huff.

 _Dude, either walk me or let me go have a nap._ Oscar glared at him.

 _You are such a c-blocker,_ Jensen thought at him. Oscar snorted, unimpressed.

“You two going somewhere?” Jared asked, interrupted their silent conversation.

“Yeah, I was just thinking of talking Oscar for a walk,” Jensen answered.

“Cool! Mind if I join you?”

“Not at all,” Jensen said, stomping on the urge to do a fist pump. “Actually, I was hoping you’d point me in the direction of a dog park nearby where I could let this big guy off the leash.”

“There’s one just 15 minutes away. I could show you. Gimme a minute to put on my jeans,” Jared said before walking back into his house. With the fence separating them, Jensen couldn’t see below Jared’s waist and hence hadn’t noticed that Jared was in his shorts. In his tight shorts that hugged his pert ass like a second skin and showed off those toned and powerful thighs… Jensen swallowed hard.

Oscar gave a small bark.

“I am not trying to get into his pants,” Jensen told him.

If the dog could have rolled its eyes, it would have. _Yeah, right…_

 

The dog park was just a fenced in section of the community park with a separate entrance. It wasn’t too big or well-equipped but it had plenty of space for the mutts to run around, enough shade and a few benches for the humans to sit on. A walking path ran around the circumference of the park and there were a few drinking water taps and dustbins scattered around. The park was mostly deserted but Jensen guessed that was to be expected for a Wednesday afternoon.

Oscar sat quietly between Jensen and Jared’s feet, biting at his leash. Taking pity on the poor dog, Jensen let him off the hook and saw the canine relax the second the leash was off.

“He doesn’t like being leashed very much, does he?” Jensen asked Jared, petting Oscar lightly. Oscar looked relaxed, even if a little uninterested in his surroundings.

Jared didn’t answer but it was rhetorical question anyway. Instead he said, “You are getting better with him.”

Jensen snorted. “He still hates me. And I don’t know what the hell I am doing.”

“Now, that’s not true,” Jared said, his voice gentle. “He is warming up to you. All he needs you to do for him is to love him and be patient with him. So far you are doing good.”

“You really think?” Jensen asked, smiling at Jared.

Jared’s smile was just as brilliant as ever, his whole face brightening up with it. “Yeah, I do.”

Jensen pulled out a rubber stick he brought with him and waved it in front of Oscar before throwing it a few yards away. “Oscar! Go, fetch. Fetch it. Go.”

Oscar didn’t even lift his head up from his paws.

Jared laughed. “You need to let him smell it first,” Jared said, jumping to his feet and retrieving the stick. Then he kneeled before Oscar and held the stick to the dog’s nose as he petted his hair. Jensen didn’t think that Oscar not getting the smell was the problem but he indulged Jared. Oscar eventually looked up at Jared, giving his hand a tiny sniff and Jared petted the dog’s flank. “Positive reinforcement,” he told Jensen, who simply nodded with a smile curling lips.

Jared threw the stick and pointed at it. “Go Oscar. Fetch. Come on.”

Oscar remained unmoved.

Jared wasn’t deterred by his lack of response and continued to try getting Oscar to fetch. He decreased the distance of the throw, imitated fetching himself, thrust the stick at Oscar’s nose a little more and generally made a goofball of himself.

Oscar lifted his big puppy eyes to Jensen. _Save me._

Jensen shrugged and leaned back to watch the show. _You’re on your own, buddy._

Finally Oscar sat up on his hind legs, seemingly fed up with the human’s antics. Jared petting his head, cooed at him and held the stick in his hand once more. But before Jared could throw the stick, Oscar snatched it from Jared’s hand, trotted a small distance, placed the stick on the ground and came back to sit near Jensen’s legs.

Jared watched with wide, astonished eyes while Jensen laughed hard, clutching his stomach. Oscar simply panted at them with his tongue lolling out. Normally it would seem as though Oscar was looking his master’s approval for doing a trick but now it almost looked like he was sticking his tongue out at them.

After catching his breath, Jensen rubbed Oscar’s fur, butting his forehead to the dog’s. “Good boy, Oscar!” he said.

Jared huffed and folded his hands over his chest. “You shouldn’t praise him for that, he’ll think he did something good.” Even as he spoke Jared’s lips turned up a little at the corners, his dimples making a shy appearance.

“But he did do something good,” Jensen said. “All dogs and their mothers can fetch. How many dogs give you something to fetch?”

Jared rolled his eyes, no longer bothering to hide his smile. “Yeah, yeah.”

Oscar gave a small bark to get Jensen’s attention. _Stop staring at the hot guy and give me a treat_.

“Fine, you get a treat,” Jensen said aloud before he could stop himself but Jared bat an eyelash at Jensen talking to his dog as if the dog had talked to him first. “Let’s get you home first, okay?”

Jensen stood up and made to attach the leash to the dog’s collar when Oscar pulled back and whined pathetically. Jensen’s heart broke for his dog. Clearly, Oscar was a smart dog and he probably was a very fun guy before his family abandoned him. How anyone could even do that, Jensen had no idea. He really didn’t want to put Oscar on a leash when it bothered him so much but he also couldn’t risk Oscar running away on him.

He crouched to the dog’s level and spoke to him softly, holding his muzzle in his hands. “I’m not going to abandon you, okay? I just want to get you home, buddy. That’s all. I swear the moment we get home, I’ll let you off the leash okay? And in a few days, when you start liking being around me, I’ll never put you on a leash if I can help it. I promise.”

Oscar continued to stare at him with his mournful eyes and Jensen was wondering if he was crazy for thinking that the dog could understand his little speech. Just when he was about to give up, Oscar nuzzled into Jensen’s palm and he couldn’t help the grin that broke out on his face and the warmth that bloomed in his chest.

“Good boy! I’ll give you extra treats when we get home. Good boy.” Jensen petted Oscar a few more times and attached his leash before standing up to leave. He saw Jared smiling at him softly, an unreadable expression on his face. Jensen smiled back.

The walk back home was much easier than the walk to the park – mainly because Oscar was tagging along with them happily but also because Jared was walking close enough for the back of his palm to touch Jensen’s every now and then. They talked about the neighborhood, Jared pointing out different shops that Jensen needed to know about and which he should avoid – _Morgan’s has killer coffee but Morgana’s coffee will kill you_ – and making him privy on the information he had collected about the neighbors over the years – _Mrs. Hanley is actually seeing Mr. Jonathan behind her husband’s back but she doesn’t know her Mr. Hanley is sleeping with their babysitter_. The conversation flowed easily and soon Jensen found himself laughing and smiling more than he ever had in the past decade.

It was hard to hide the disappointment when they had to part ways at Jensen’s backyard but he did. It wasn’t like he and Jared could ever be a thing, anyway.

Jared crouched down to Oscar’s level, petted him and cooed at him some more before smacking a kiss on the dog’s forehead. Oscar, for his part, seemed to not mind the attention. He wagged his tail happily and even gave Jared’s palm a few good licks. When Jared finally stood up and turned to Jensen, he had expected a _See you around_ or _Have a good day_. Something non-conclusive that didn’t involve plans for the future.

What he got was, “Wanna join me on my morning run tomorrow? We could take Oscar to the dog park.”

Jensen only hesitated a moment before he said, “Yeah, sure. I’d love that.”

“Awesome. See you first thing tomorrow. Bye.” Jared turned around and jogged the rest of the way to his house, his broad back flexing sinfully as he moved. Jensen stared at him until he disappeared into his house through the screened back door.

Oscar nudged at his foot and fixed him with a judging stare. His eyes had lost the sorrow, mournful look. Instead, they seemed to be saying, _I’m not the only one getting treats_.

“Shut up,” Jensen groused.

Oscar huffed and made his way into the backyard, dragging Jensen by the leash.

Jensen spent the rest of the day, looking forward to the next morning.

His drawing pad lay empty and untouched on the coffee table.

 

 

 

 

Jensen Ackles was never a morning person. He could work in stretches of 24 hours, bent over the drawing board or his laptop or his Wacom, with black coffee as his only sustenance. He could work through evenings, well into the mornings. But when he does sleep if you ask him to wake up before 9 am (10 on weekends) then all you get is a pillow to your face.

That was why it was surprising when Jensen found himself up at 5 in the morning, furiously going through his unopened boxes, searching for his long abandoned pair of running shoes. Oscar watched him passively from the hallway, his gaze following Jensen through the storage room.

“Ah ha!” Jensen screamed, dramatically holding the shoes high in the air for Oscar to see. Oscar barked his approval.

Then Jensen started freaking out for a different reason. He hadn’t bothered to ask Jared what time he left for his morning walk!

Jensen’s shoulders drooped as he saw that it was almost 6. Jared had probably gone for his morning run, completely forgetting Jensen’s existence. The guy had looked like those disgustingly cheerful early morning types. Oscar padded over to him and sat close to Jensen but offered no show of support. Jensen sighed and petted the dog’s fur.

“We might as well go for a walk now that I’m awake. You could use the exercise, buddy,” Jensen told the dog.

Oscar snipped at him. _Who’re you calling fat, old man?_

“Hey, I’m just calling it like I see it.”

Before his dog could chew his head off for insulting his perfect figure, the doorbell rang. Both Oscar and Jensen looked at each other.

“Who could it be this early in the morning?” Jensen thought out loud. “If it’s a serial killer, you’ll protect me. Right, Oscar?” Jensen asked his dog. He was always wary of the people who woke up before they had to.

Oscar turned around and walked out of the room.

“I guess not,” Jensen muttered.

Turns out, it wasn’t a serial killer but his very hot neighbor. “You ready to go?” Jared asked the moment Jensen opened the door.

Against the pounding in his heart, Jensen heard himself call for Oscar. Too late he realized that the dog might not respond to his name. But Jensen tried again. “Oscar. Come on, buddy.” It worked then and Oscar came trotting into the foyer. To make the morning even better, the dog didn’t resist being leashed and followed Jensen out the front door.

Jared beamed at him. “See, I told you. You _are_ getting better with him.”

Jensen smiled back. “I guess I am.”

 

They walked to the dog park in silence, just enjoying the fresh morning breeze and the quiet of the dawn. Even though Jensen hated waking up early, he had to admit that the early mornings had the blissful silence going for them. When they reached the park they let Oscar off the leash and left him near a tree before stretching and taking off jogging along the walking path.

Jensen loathed admitting it but he got out of breath embarrassingly fast. By nature Jensen was an introvert, preferring the safety of his bedroom and his pencils to society and sports. Danneel liked to remind him often that he had virtually no social life outside of his family, Chris and couple of her friends. It wasn’t completely Danneel’s fault either. Danneel was a social butterfly. She liked to go to parties and meet people and have drinks with her girlfriends. Jensen was never like that. Thinking back, he wondered how in the hell did the two of them ever get together.

Sure Jensen worked out in his home gym but it had been a few days since he broke a sweat. He hadn’t been bothering much with maintaining his health and his physique ever since his divorce. And there was also the fact that he was getting old… Forty wasn’t exactly retirement home age but it also wasn’t the age when you bothered to maintain your six-pack. (Unless you were Brad Pitt.) He almost groaned in relief when Jared said that they should call it a day. Although, he suspected that Jared suggested stopping for his benefit and not because he had finished his chosen number of laps.

They found Oscar chasing a squirrel around a tree and despite his exhaustion, Jensen couldn’t help but smile.

 

“So, ER doctor, huh?” Jensen asked Jared on their way back. “What’s it like?” Jensen could almost smack his forehead for such a clichéd question.

“Busy, exhausting…” Jared said. “You gotta deal with over protective mothers who think that the common cold is the Spanish Flu, assholes who moan and bitch about the health care system but refuse to take vaccines, technicians who are more interested in chewing gum than getting me the scan reports on time, surgeons who think they are the Gods and we ER doctors are their puny servants…” Jared saw Jensen’s wide eyes and trailed off, with a blush. “… and on and on and on. But it’s satisfying, you know? Helping people, seeing the little kids smile after I patch up their wounds, seeing the families relieved after we save their loved ones… You must think I’m an idiot.”

“I think you are adorable,” Jensen said without thinking. But it was worth it to see Jared blush and duck his head.

“So what do you do?” Jared asked after a beat.

“I write graphic novels.”

“Ooh… Are you, like, published?”

“You could say that,” Jensen said nonchalantly, as if 3 of his books hadn’t reached No. 1 on the New York Times Graphic Novels Bestsellers list.

“Wow! I’ve never met a published writer before. Much less someone who writes graphic novels,” Jared said.

Jensen laughed, scratching the back of his head. “Well, we used to be a rare breed. Not anymore. It’s a fast expanding market. What about you? Do you read any comic books or graphic novels?”

Jared shook his head. “The only exposure I have to the world of comics are the Marvel’s movies. I’m not that interested in them.”

“So are you like a nerd?” Jared asked, his voice free of any judgment or teasing. His eyes were trained on Oscar, watching him as he sniffed at random trees. “Do you read a lot of comic books?”

“I do. Comics are my passion,” Jensen said. “Most people consider comics to be silly, childish entertainment. But I think that they are just as much art as any movie or painting. Even the most common comics, the superhero books for example, almost always have a lesson to teach, a story to tell. Most importantly, they reflect on us as a society and what our values were at the time. Comics are really great way to give a social commentary in an engaging manner that pulls you right in and makes you think.”

Jensen paused and looked at Jared, who had his eyes focused on him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to geek out,” Jensen said, unconsciously moving a step away from Jared.

This was why Jensen never had a social life. The moment someone took an interest in him, he started talking about comic books and his work. That usually turned most people off. Danneel had found him cute at the start of their relationship. Soon even she had grown tired of Jensen’s ‘children’s books’ and tuned out whenever Jensen talked about his work. But he couldn’t help it. He was the geeky kid with glasses who sat in the back of the class and doodled Batman into his notebook margins. While his friends chased after girls, he spent hours mowing lawns and helping the elderly in hopes of collecting enough money to buy the latest Marvel’s comics.

Jared, however, didn’t seem to mind Jensen’s love for comics. He stepped closer to Jensen and said, “I think it’s good to be able to geek out over something. It means you have a passion in life and our passions make us who we are. I constantly geek out over maps. Maps, Jensen. Maps! It might seem trivial and meaningless to most people but I like learning the history behind them. I’m never ashamed of it and I think no one should be ashamed of loving something enough to be passionate about it.”

“Thanks,” Jensen said. He wasn’t just thankful for Jared’s understanding, but also for the fact that he took Jensen seriously, for not disregarding something that was such a huge part of Jensen’s life. Guessing from the way Jared smiled at him, he had gotten the message.

“I’ve never read any comics that didn’t involve Garfield,” Jared told him. “I suddenly feel like an uncultured fool.”

Jensen laughed. “I got some that I could lend you, if you want to read them.”

“I’d love that. I need something to keep me busy on the subway train anyway.”

Jensen noticed that they were now standing in Jensen’s front yard (and when did that happen?) and that it was time to part ways and say goodbye. So he asked, “Wanna come over for some coffee and breakfast? I could give you the books I was talking about.”

“Normally I’d jump at the name of food,” Jared said, looking reasonably sorry and Jensen knew what was coming. “But I can’t. I gotta get to work.”

Jensen nodded, forcing himself to keep smiling. Of course. Why did he ever think inviting Jared over was a good idea? He wanted to kick himself for even hoping –

“How about tonight?” Jared asked, looking hopeful.

“You don’t have to…” Jensen began.

“I want to, Jensen,” Jared said. “You are a really cool guy. And I meant it when I said that I’d love to know more about what you do and stuff. Besides I get to hang out with Oscar. So you better cook enough to feed a small army because my tummy is a bottom less pit.” He patted his stomach for extra effect.

Jensen laughed. “Yeah, sure. See you tonight? At 8?”

“8 works for me,” Jared said. “See you later, Jensen.” With that Jared turned around and jogged the rest of the way to his house.

Oscar barked to get Jensen’s attention.

“Yeah, yeah, I didn’t forget about you. Come on.”

 

Later that morning, Jensen realized that he might have actually gotten himself a date with Jared.

 

 

 

 

Jensen was freaking out. He was debating whether or not he should cook meat – _what if Jared turned out to be a vegetarian?_ – wondering if he should put flowers on the dining table – _would Jared think I’m trying too hard?_ – and whether or not he should serve wine. These were all very important things to freak out about, alright?

“Should I bring out the wine?” he asked Oscar.

The dog barked.

“Yeah, you’re right. Wine is too date night-y. And Jared never said it was a date.”

Oscar simply stared at him with his head on his front paws. A pose that seemed to radiate extreme disinterest in Jensen’s ramblings.

“I mean, maybe he’s just trying to be friendly. A guy like him probably has a boyfriend already.” Jensen laughed humorlessly, shaking his head. “With my luck, he is not even remotely interested in guys.”

Oscar whined a little and tilted his head.

“Well, don’t just sit there and look at me,” Jensen said. “You knew the guy before I did. Tell me, did Jared ever bring a girl or a guy to the shelter?”

Oscar huffed and moved so he could lie on his side, basically asking Jensen to shut the fuck up. _Humans_.

“One day you’ll find a nice Golden Retriever or a Husky that you want to impress and don’t expect me to be your wingman when that time comes,” Jensen told him.

The dog’s tail did an annoyed swipe. _Yeah, whatever_.

“Of course, it’s not like I’m trying to impress Jared or anything,” Jensen said out loud. “I don’t want to date him. I don’t. It’s not like we would work anyway.” At that point he was really talking to himself.

Oscar continued to be of no help and Jensen had to make all the decisions by himself. He finally decided on beer – he didn’t want to seem like he was looking to get laid, which he was not – and made some nice grilled chicken and rice with a side of potatoes. As a final thought he decided to put together a salad for starters. Simple and tasty.

Cooking was something that Jensen loved to do. In fact, it was one of the only few things that he and Danneel had had in common. In the early years of marriage, when Jensen was still convinced that he could make it work with his wife, he and Danneel had many date nights for which they’d cook together and then sit down for a peaceful dinner.

He wondered if Jared liked to cook.

A sharp rap on the screened back door made Jensen squash down that thought like it was a particularly ugly cockroach. He could not let himself think that Jared coming over for dinner meant anything. He could not let his hopes go up and he most certainly could not start thinking about a life with Jared. That would only end in disaster.

Jensen gave himself one last once over before going to open the door. Oscar too got to his feet and followed him to great their guest.

Jared was standing on the back porch, his shaggy hair wind ruffled, his comfy looking t-shirt and faded jeans clinging to his skin and his dimples digging into his cheeks. When Jensen saw that smile, it was hard to remind himself to not fall for a guy who was 10 years younger than him.

“Hi. Glad you could make it,” Jensen said, stepping to a side to let Jared in.

“And why would I not make it? You were offering free food, dude.”

Jensen shook his head fondly and shut the door while Jared petted Oscar. “Sweet digs,” Jared said. He whistled in appreciation as his eyes took in the spacious white kitchen and the two storied living room.

“You’ve never been in here before?” Jensen asked.

“The old guy who lived here before you, Mr. Stuart, wasn’t really a social person,” Jared said, his voice sounding distant as he looked around. “He never even let me into the foyer.”

“Great, so this place attracts introverts,” Jensen muttered to himself.

“Sorry?” Jared turned around, his full attention shifting back to Jensen now.

“Nothing,” Jensen said.

When Jared returned to the kitchen, he took a deep sniff and made a groan that had Jensen’s pulse quickening. “I smell something delicious,” Jared said, unaware of the affect the noises spilling from his mouth are having on Jensen. “What’d you make?”

“Nothing much,” Jensen said. “Grilled Chicken and Rice.”

Jared turned to him with wide eyes. “Uh… Jensen, I’m a vegan,” he said, sounding apologetic.

Jensen froze. Shit! He knew it! He can never get anything right. Why didn’t he simply order in a pizza? Because he was an idiot, that’s why. “Uh, it’s alright. Let me just get rid of this and I’ll order us pizza – ” Jensen said, looking anywhere but at Jared.

“Dude, relax! I was just kidding,” Jared said, laughing a little. “I’m from Texas remember? My Momma raised me to appreciate some good meat.”

Jensen blinked. He didn’t know whether Jared intended the double entendre or if he really didn’t know how that sounded but, he chose not to mention it.

“You are an asshole,” Jensen said instead. Jared simply laughed.

Oscar yipped at Jensen; a sound that Jensen was coming to realize meant that the dog was displeased with him.

“No more chicken for you, Oscar,” Jensen said for the umpteenth time, pointing a stern finger at him. The dog had been bugging him constantly when he was cooking and Jensen fed him a small piece of raw meat to keep him sated. That didn’t seem to work. He pulled out Oscar’s dog bowl and served him his dinner before leading Jared into the living room. “Come on. I’ll give you those comic books I promised this morning.”

Jensen had spent the whole morning debating which books he should give Jared first. He considered the classics Maus and Persepolis but they were too heavy of a material to begin with. Giving Jared the books he had written seemed pretentious and cocky. After much thought, he had decided on Watchmen and Blankets. Since Jared was familiar with superheroes, Watchmen should interest him. And Blankets… Blankets was a novel that was really close to Jensen’s heart – both because of the beautiful illustrations and its story. It was a story that he could identify with, something that had struck a chord with him. For some reason, Jensen wanted Jared to read it and hear what he had to say about it.

“Here.” Jensen handed Jared two thick graphic novels. “Read this one first,” he said pointing to a dog eared copy of Watchmen. “This is a limited series issue so be careful with it.”

Jared hugged the book to his chest and sincerely said, “I’ll guard it with my life.” He looked at the book at took a double take at the title. “Wait, Watchmen, like the Snyder film?” Jared asked.

Jensen shook his head then nodded and shook his head again. “The film was based on the book but it isn’t as good as the source material in my opinion. Did you watch the film?”

“No.”

Jensen nodded. “This was one of the books that revolutionized comics and changed the way people thought about them. Watchmen is a story about superheroes so I thought you might like it.” Jensen pointed to the other book, Blankets. “And Blankets is a story about first love and finding yourself and growing up. It also has some religious themes so don’t read it if that kind of stuff upsets you.”

“No, it’s cool,” Jared said, casually flipping through Blankets and wouldn’t you guess it, he lands on a page in which the two main characters are kissing while almost nude. “Dude, is this porn?”

“No, it’s not,” Jensen said rolling his eyes. Jared confirmed it for himself when he looked through a few more pages and saw that the characters weren’t in a permanent state of undress. Jensen was already feeling a little nervous seeing Jared look at the images keenly. What if Jared didn’t take the book seriously? What if he thought it was a silly story? What if –

“Wow…” Jared whispered, his fingers stroking the pages reverently. “The illustrations are beautiful, Jensen,” he said.

Jensen smiled. “I know.”

“I’ll read these the first chance I get,” Jared declared, closing the book carefully. “Right now, I need you to feed me.” Jared rubbed his tummy like he had been starving for months and right on cue, his stomach grumbled. Laughing fondly Jensen led them back to the kitchen and they sat at the breakfast nook.

Jensen served himself and Jared the salad, opened a couple of beers and sat down to eat. Jared took a long swing of the beer and picked up the conversation they were having earlier when Jared entered.

“So I told you that Mr. Stuart never invited me into the house, right?” Jensen nodded. “Well, I did get to see his foyer sometimes. I even got a couple of glimpses of the living room when he decided to leave the shades open. Looks like you haven’t changed much of it?”

 “Yeah, I’m still settling in.”

”I know. Moving in is hard when you have to do all the work, right?”

“I’ve still got unpacked boxes. Loads of them,” Jensen told him. “In fact, I didn’t unpack anything that I didn’t need on a daily basis. The movers took care of setting up the basic furniture and stuff. I was too lazy to do the rest.”

What Jensen meant by ‘stuff needed on daily basis’ were his toiletries, cooking utensils, clothes, blankets, bed sheets and towels. He had only unpacked his art supplies the day before when he decided to work. Even after three weeks since he moved in, the house remained as impersonal as ever with not even a single family photo on the walls. The curtains were the same, the carpets were the same, the bookshelves and drawers remained empty and the spare bedrooms were still covered in plastic sheets. His Momma would be so disappointed in him.

“You know, I could help you unpack,” Jared said, looking over at the empty built-ins in the living room with a wince.

Jensen shook his head. “I couldn’t ask you to do that – ”

“Oh, shut up. That’s what neighbors are for,” Jared said. “I wish I had nice, friendly neighbors to help me when I first moved in. But since you do have the world’s most awesomest neighbor, you should make use of them.”

“Mrs. Patrick next door brought me some homemade cookies when I first moved in. But I don’t think that makes her the world’s most awesomest neighbor,” Jensen said with a straight face.

Jared threw a napkin at him. “I meant me, asshole. No, seriously, I’m free this weekend so I’ll come over and we can get this place to look like a home instead of a dusty old museum. What do ya say?”

Jensen looked at the most bare walls and dust filled blinds that had been there for almost a quarter of a century. If he was left to do all the work by himself, it might take at least a month for him to even get started on it. He wasn’t really in a position to refuse help. “If it’s not a bother, then I’d like that, yeah.”

“It’s settled then. I’ll come over on Saturday.”

 

With the starters were finished, Jensen served them the grilled chicken and Jared divided into the food eagerly, moaning around his mouthful. “Mmmm… Jesus, man, this so good.” He groaned again, almost sounding like he was having an orgasm – and no! Jensen is not thinking about that right now. He is 40 years old. He doesn’t need to pop a stiffy like a teenager, goddamit.

Jared continued to swallow the food and moaning like a pornstar, his eyes closed in bliss. Jensen couldn’t take it anymore and said, “You want me to leave the two of you alone?”

“No! No, I need you around to cook more of this stuff. It’s practically melting in my mouth. Don’t tell my mom but it’s almost better than her cooking. What did you put in the chicken anyway?”

Jensen smirked. “It’s a secret,” he said in whisper, doing a shh motion with his finger. It was just Enchiladas seasoning and Mexican mole rub, really.

“Come on…” Jared whined. “I promised to help you with the unpacking, didn’t I?”

Jensen shook his head firmly. “Nope. It’s a secret that I’ll take with me to my grave.”

Jared gave him a one sided smile. “Well then I guess I’ll have to keep you around then.” He took another bite, his pink lips wrapping around the fork sinfully.

If it wasn’t for the distraction Oscar provided, Jensen might have done something extremely embarrassing – like letting out the moan that was building in his chest. Jesus, he needs to get laid more often. But thankfully, his buddy Oscar saved him from dying out of mortification and came to sit beside him, whining and opening his mouth expectantly.

“Oh, let the poor guy have some,” Jared said. “It’s okay to feed him little bits now and then, as long as there aren’t any bones.”

Jensen looked at him suspiciously. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, Jensen,” Jared said with a smile. “Just don’t let him get too used it. Once in a blue moon is alright.”

Trusting Jared’s wisdom, Jensen held a small piece of chicken to Oscar after double checking that it had no bones. Oscar lapped up the meat, snatching it out of Jensen’s hand the moment it was offered and barked happily when he was done. He even got close enough to Jensen to let him pet his head and wagged his tail happily.

“Jeez, man, you’re so easy,” Jensen told Oscar.

Oscar yipped again. _Shut up, human_.

Jensen continued to watch the dog carefully for sometime after he finished eating the chicken. Eventually, the dog decided that he had enough petting for the night and moved away to sit on his dog bed.

“If you are waiting to see if he’ll suddenly start puking you’ll be waiting for a long time,” Jared said and only then did Jensen realize that he was watching Oscar for any signs of illness.

“Are you sure the meat is okay for him?” Jensen asked again. “I read somewhere on the internet that it isn’t.”

Jared laughed and shook his head. “You are a paranoid bastard, aren’t ya?”

“I just don’t want him to get sick,” Jensen said, looking at Oscar again.

Oscar woofed at him. _Stupid human_.

Jensen rolled his eyes. “Fine,” he said and turned back to Jared. Jared was watching him with a small smile on his face, the same kind he had seen in the park yesterday and Jensen blushed a little. “You’re so sweet, you know that?”

“Shut up,” Jensen grumbled and Jared gave a booming laugh.

Later that night after Jared had left, patting his full tummy and proclaiming Jensen a master chef, Jensen picked up his drawing pad once more. It was kinda weird and uncharacteristic that Jensen hadn’t thought about his work for that long, so to make up for lost time Jensen sat down with his notebook to sketch. Twenty minutes later he realized that the figure he was sketching wasn’t his main character but his next door neighbor.

“I’m so fucked,” Jensen said out loud, staring at his notebook. Jared’s smiling face stared back at him.

Oscar barked from his spot at the foot of Jensen’s bed. _I agree_.

 

 

 

 

Friday morning Jensen and Oscar accompanied Jared on his morning jog. This time they took Jared’s usual running trail away from all the houses. Of course they didn’t make it as far as Jared usually went but they did cover a good distance before turning back. Even Oscar ran along with them without much prompting from Jensen, occasionally stopping to chase his tail or sniff and random things. Jensen was happy to notice that Oscar lost the faraway look by the time they got back. Exercise was good for your mind, it seemed.

They parted with Jared at Jensen’s house when they got back. When asked if he would like to hang out again that night, Jared told Jensen that he couldn’t since his shift would last well into the night that day but reminded Jensen that he would drop by early Saturday morning to help him with unpacking the rest of his stuff.

The rest of the morning was spent on an endorphin high. As Jensen almost danced his way through making breakfast, he had to admit that he felt a lot better by just having human company for a couple of hours. Getting out of the house didn’t hurt either. Ever since his divorce with Danneel Jensen had stepped outside only if it was absolutely necessary and couldn’t be avoided any longer. Before Jared, the only time he actually went out on his free will was his trip to the shelter to get a dog.

Oscar seemed to be in a better mood than usual as well. He happily chewed at one of his chew toys, occasionally barking a reply when Jensen talked to him.

Jensen left Oscar with his new best friend – the bone shaped chew toy – to have a shower and when he got back he found Oscar in the same spot he left him. The only difference was that there was a new guy sitting on his couch with his legs stretched out on the coffee table.

“You know, you’d make a terrible guard dog,” Jensen told Oscar when he entered the living room, completely ignoring the figure on his couch. “Couldn’t you have barked or something?”

Oscar barked at him once before snapping his jaws on the toy. _There! I barked. Now go away_.

“So you meant an actual dog when you said that you had a dog named Oscar.”

Jensen turned to face his uninvited guest. “What did you think I meant? Wait! Do I even want to know what you thought I meant?”

Christian Kane smirked at him, getting to his feet. “I don’t think so, no.” Chris wrapped him up in a warm hug before taking a step back to give him a once over.

“I thought you’d look like a zombie homeless guy when I found you. You look… okay.”

“Was that supposed to be an insult or something?” Jensen asked.

“I must step up my insult game if it isn’t clear that they _are_ intended to be insults,” Chris muttered to himself.

Jensen smiled and shook his head, taking a seat on the couch. Oscar walked over to him and settled near his feet. After petting the dog and praising him a little, Jensen turned to Chris once more. “What’re you doing here, Kane?” Despite his grumpy attitude, Jensen was glad to see his friend. Chris might have been uninvited but not unwelcome.

“I was looking for a place to bury a dead stripper. What do you think, jackass?”

“I don’t know if you’re actually serious or not because I can never be sure with you,” Jensen said. “Did you have to break into my house, though?”

“I didn’t technically ‘break-in’. But you need to stop hiding the spare key under the Gardenia pot,” Chris said with a smirk.

Jensen groaned, smacking a hand to his face. “Yeah, I really need to work on breaking that habit.”

“What you also need to work on is your next book,” Chris said, suddenly professional. “How far along are you? Are we in the third trimester yet?”

Jensen glared at his friend. “I’ve finished writing it but I’m struggling with the rest. I can’t even draw a decent design for how I want my main character to look.”

“The baby is refusing to show up on the ultrasound then.”

Jensen made a face. “Dude, stop it with the pregnancy metaphors. It’s weird,” Jensen said. “What I meant was that I hit an artist’s block or whatever. I can’t seem to put anything on paper. So yeah, it’ll take a while.” He saw that Chris had a thoughtful frown on his face. “Is that a problem?” he asked. Jensen didn’t have a deadline to put out the next book and because this wasn’t a part of a series he didn’t have fan pressure either. But he knew all too well that if an author had a dry spell it was more than likely that they’d lose more than half their fan base to the new bestseller.

“Not really,” Chris said. “Your last book only came out in the summer and the buzz from it hasn’t died yet. I think you have a few more months before there would be pressure on you to put out again.” Chris smirked at his stupid joke and Jensen rolled his eyes hard enough that he swore saw the back of his head. “And I wouldn’t want to put you under more stress than you already are,” Chris said sincerely. “Just give it time, alright? You’ll be your bestseller-self again in no time.”

Jensen smiled gratefully. He didn’t know how much he needed the reassurance of being able to draw again until he heard it from Chris.

“But I will suggest that you do a few book signings in the meantime,” Chris said carefully.

“I did one at the last Comic Con!”

“I’m not asking you to do it for the fans, Jensen. I’m asking you to do it for yourself. I want you to get out there and start living again.” Jensen made to interrupt but Chris talked over him. “Look, dude, what Danneel did to you was horrible and unforgiveable. I know, believe me, I do. But sitting around and moping isn’t going to do anyone any good.”

Jensen sighed heavily and sank into his couch, hoping that it would swallow him whole. “What do you want me to do Chris? And I swear to god if you say ‘get back into the dating game’ I will clock you one. I’ve had enough of people for a lifetime. I’m quite happy sitting here in my living room with my dog and myself.”

“You can’t give up – ”

“I have given up.”

Chris rubbed a hand over his face. “Jensen, even you have to admit it. You weren’t entirely without fault in this whole affair with Danneel.”

“You mean the affair Danneel had with one of my closest friends for 5 years – half the time we were married – behind my back?”

“Can you blame her Jensen? It took you five goddamn years to notice something was wrong,” Chris said, sounding agitated now.

Jensen sat up straighter, his teeth clenching in an attempt to not scream at Chris. He was mindful of the warm weight of Oscar at his feet and he didn’t want to scare the poor guy so he kept his voice down. But it was still filled with venom when he spoke. “You did not just say that to me! Are you saying that this whole mess is my fault because I trusted my wife?”

“No! No, that’s not – god damnit! This is all coming out wrong.” Chris buried his face in his hands, taking a couple of deep breaths, before looking up. “Jensen, all I am saying is that you were both stuck in a loveless marriage. That doesn’t make what Danneel and Tom did any more right. But I can understand where she was coming from. Your marriage to her was a mistake but you don’t have to suffer the consequences of it for the rest of your life.”

“Oh, don’t I?” Jensen didn’t bother to argue with the rest of what Chris said because he knew that it was all true. Sure he was hurt when he found out about Danneel and Tom but he wasn’t hurting as much as he should have. Danneel had been his wife for 10 years for Christ’s sake. No, what hurt him the most was that Danneel and Tom betrayed his trust.

“Jensen, come on! There are plenty more fish in the ocean and you have an even bigger pool to chose from. I’m not saying get into a relationship right away but get out and meet some people. Have meaningless sex and one night stands. Come hang out with me and Steve and the guys. Hell, I’ll even throw a barbeque in New York weather if you promise to come.”

“Chris I appreciate the effort but I can’t man. I’m honestly not in the mood to hang out with anyone,” Jensen said. It wasn’t entirely true but it was best not to talk to Chris about Jared. “Besides I have a dog now,” Jensen absently petted Oscar’s head. “This poor guy has got an abandonment complex the size of Texas. I don’t want to leave him on his own or with a sitter just yet.”

Chris sighed, clearly sensing defeat. “The offer still stands if you change your mind.”

“I know,” Jensen said before not so subtly changing the topic to Chris’s family.

 

 

 

Jensen was discussing Oscar’s living arrangements with the dog when Jared came over on that Saturday morning. He was explaining to Oscar that they were roommates now and they had to accommodate each other’s wishes and find common ground. Oscar was quite uncooperative during the negotiations.

“Under no circumstances are you to put your paws on the furniture. In return I’ll wash your dog bed often and keep it clean and fresh-smelling. Agreed?”

Oscar’s silence was his answer. Jensen stared down at his dog. He was not going to back down and Oscar needed to try harder if he wanted to intimidate Jensen.

“Tell me you are seriously not expecting him to answer.”

Jensen’s head snapped up and he saw Jared leaning casually on a wall, a beer dangling from his long fingers. He hadn’t noticed Jared’s entrance or heard him help himself to a beer from Jensen’s fridge. Oscar barked on hearing Jared’s voice and ran over to him, greeting him with a wagging tail. Jared petted Oscar but kept watching him with a smile on his face and Jensen flushed at the thought of Jared hearing his conversation with Oscar.

“I was trying to reprimand him for getting mud stains all over my couch. ‘Trying’ being the operative word,” Jensen said.

Jared glanced at the other couch in the living room and huffed out a laugh on seeing Oscar’s paw prints all over it.

“It’s not funny. Do you know expensive those covers were? They were custom made,” Jensen told him.

Jared held his hands up. “Hey, I wasn’t laughing at your misery. It’s just that, the paw prints are too cute, Jensen.”

Jensen couldn’t disagree.

“How did you get in anyway?” Jensen asked. He remembered Chris’s ‘break in’ the day before. “Wait, let me guess, you found the spare key under the Gardenia pot?”

“Uh… no? The back door was open?” Jared said. “Anyway, let’s get opening boxes. We’ll just sit around and talk until sun down if we don’t start right away. Trust me, I’ve been through this.” Jared nodded sagely like he was imparting invaluable wisdom.

“Wait, let me just give Oscar his breakfast.” Jensen whistled for the dog to follow him into the kitchen. By now Oscar had begun to associate Jensen’s whistles and him walking into the kitchen with food, so he followed Jensen with an enthusiastic bark.

With Oscar busy with his food, Jensen led Jared to one of the spare rooms where he had stashed a majority of his unpacked boxes. Most of them were filled with books and vinyl records. After Jared had spent a few minutes gawking at Jensen’s impressive collection of tomes and music, they started shifting the boxes to the home office where Jensen explained to Jared how he would like his books sorted.

“Wait, wait! So you want them sorted out by the author and arranged in ascending order of the date of publication?”

“Yes and the authors need to be sorted out in alphabetical order as well. Same goes for the records. I would have packed them all in order if I had packed them myself but the movers were not so patient.”

Jared nodded slowly. “Uh huh. Did anyone ever tell you that you are bit OCD?”

Jensen rolled his eyes. “Only my sister, my best friend and my ex-wife.”

Jared’s eyes widened a little. “You were married?” he asked as he started to sort out the books.

Jensen sat on the floor across Jared and started working on his own box. “Recently divorced,” Jensen said.

“I’m sorry, man,” Jared said. “Must have been hard.”

Jensen shrugged his shoulders. “Not really. We weren’t working anyway.” For some reason Jared’s unassuming eyes and soft voice made him want to talk to him. “Besides, she found someone better,” Jensen said with intent.

Jared winced. “Do you wanna trash talk about her and the other guy?”

That got a laugh out of Jensen. “What are we? A couple of chicks? I ain’t sitting around gossiping about my exes.”

Jared swatted at him lightly with a weathered paperback of Brave New World. “Hey, don’t be an ass. There’s nothing wrong with talking about stuff. Did you know that a 2006 study done by UT found out that gossiping is good for health?”

Jensen hummed noncommittally. “Maybe it’s true. But I honestly have nothing bad to say about Danneel. That’ my ex. Yeah, she cheated on me but I guess I was cheating on her with my work for a long time before that. No matter what, I’m actually glad our marriage is over.”

Jared nodded. “If you are both happy with the decision then it was the right one.”

Jensen thought about how almost everyone else he knew would disagree with that sentiment.

“Enough about me. What about you? Are you in a relationship?” Jensen asked. He mentally patted his back for throwing that question in casually. In reality he was dying to know if Jared was available and if he batted for home team.

“I don’t have enough time for relationships,” Jared said with a shake of his head.

“That or you haven’t found the right one,” Jensen said.

“You sound like my mom,” Jared said, laughing.

“No seriously, there must be someone?”

Jared shook his head then thought on it for a moment. “There is this guy at work that seems to be interested in me. He is a nice guy, I like him…” Jared trailed off.

Jensen prodded gently. “So, are you interested in this… guy?” he asked, eyes fixed on Jared’s.

“Would it be a problem if I did?”

It took Jensen a moment to understand what Jared was asking. When he realized, he gave him a small smile. “It would be hypocritical of me if it did,” he said and saw the realization dawn on Jared’s face.

“To answer your question, no,” Jared said. “I like him but I don’t want to date someone that I work with. I don’t want my life to turn into Grey’s Anatomy.”

So Jared was single and interested in men. Good for him. Of course, that wouldn’t concern Jensen in anyway. It was not like he wanted to date Jared or anything.

 

After they were done with the books and the records they brought out the rest of Jensen’s stuff. They changed the shades, swapped the carpets and argued over the positioning each of Jensen’s decorative pieces and photographs. They’d take a break now and then, trying to coax Oscar into playing with them while they replenished their energy. It almost seemed like they were a couple setting up their new home. It was a dangerous line of thought but Jensen couldn’t help thinking it.

They were setting up Jensen’s office, the last room left. They had carefully put up Jensen’s huge comic collection into the shelves and brought in the rest of Jensen’s equipment. It was much easier to do than the other rooms because Jensen had packed his comic book collection himself when he had moved. There were too many invaluable single edition pieces for him to let his movers do the job. He also told Jared firmly that the room had to be set up to his liking for him to work comfortably in it. Jared didn’t argue even if he cracked a couple of jokes about Jensen’s obsession with ‘feng shui’.

Jensen was finishing setting up his work station when Jared pulled out a large framed poster that would be the centre piece in the room.

“Whoa!” Jared exclaimed looking at the poster.

 “What? Oh, that? It’s a poster of one of my favorite images of the Joker from Batman,” Jensen said.

The 4”x3” poster Jared was holding was a panel from Batman: The Killing Joke, depicting the Joker right after his disfigurement, illustrated by one of Jensen’s favorite artists Brain Bolland.

“It’s…” Jared cringed looking at it. “Creepy,” he finished, tilting his head to the side.

Jensen took the frame from him and carefully hung it on the empty wall. They both stepped back to observe it. “Yeah, it is,” Jensen said. “Do you know how the Joker became the way he was?”

“Yeah, his father bet him up when he was a kid or something,” Jared said.

“That’s the Dark Knight version,” Jensen said. “In the comic book version he was an everyday engineer who quit his job to peruse his dream to be a stand-up comedian. But that fails miserably and in a desperate attempt to provide for his pregnant wife he accepts a job from a bunch of criminals and everything goes to hell. In the same day he finds out that his wife died, that he is now the primary suspect of Batman’s investigation and his face becomes extremely disfigured when he jumps into a chemical sewage canal while trying to escape. And that is just the final straw that breaks the camel’s back.

“He’s a mirror of Batman, really. They were both broken by one horrible event in their life that they couldn’t bounce back from, both of them insane, living in an equally insane world. Joker’s back story and that picture are from the graphic novel The Killing Joke. It’s a dark and intense book that really delves into both Batman’s and the Joker’s psychologies.”

Jensen paused to see if Jared was following and like every other time Jensen had talked about comic books, Jared was listening to him carefully with a little frown of concentration. Jensen smiled at him. “That picture there?” he said, “It perfectly captures the moment an everyday man cracks and turns into a psychopathic killer. I hang it there for inspiration since most of the stuff that I write is dark as well.”

Jared looked at the picture again and regarded it for a long moment with his head tilted to the side. “He does look sad,” he said softly.

“He is.”

“And when you say you write dark stuff you mean…”

“I write about the crazy, sometimes violent, psyches that are buried in everyone. The madness that is the human life. Worlds strife with urban violence or the meaninglessness of it all. Yeah.”

“But why?” Jared asked.

“Why?” Jensen parroted.

“I mean, why do you write such bleak stuff? I get writing it once in a while but all the time? Can’t you write something fun or simple? You know, a comedy or a romantic story where everyone has a happy ending?”

“Life doesn’t work that way, Jared,” Jensen said.

Jared rolled his eyes. “Last week I pronounced a 10 year old dead. He died of injuries that he sustained when a drunk driver crashed into his parents’ car. The guy who caused the crash and the parents survived.” Jared said the words with a small smile on his face, looking for the world as though the incident didn’t affect him. But Jensen could see the sadness in his eyes, the way his lips turned down in the edges, the way Jared stuffed his hands awkwardly into his pockets. “I know life doesn’t work that way, Jensen.”

“I didn’t mean-”

Jared waved him off. “I know what you meant,” Jared said. “What I mean is, everyone knows life doesn’t work that way. We all face tragedies and heartbreak in our lives. But most of us don’t really watch movies or read books to see real life. We do it because we want to escape real life. I got back from the ER and watched Jupiter Ascending on Amazon.

“Maybe a comedy that you write will put a smile on someone’s face. Maybe it will make a girl who’s suffering from depression happy. Maybe a love story that you write will help a guy that lost all faith in romance be a romantic again. In my opinion, these kinds of stories, the stupid chick flicks or the cheesy episodes of How I Met Your Mother… they are all just as important as the epic stories that talk about the human experience.”

Jensen stared at Jared, slack-jawed and totally speechless.

Jared shifted nervously. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to go off like that. I don’t know what I was thinking-”

“Jared, no. Don’t apologize,” Jensen said. “You don’t have anything to apologize for.”

“I do. I didn’t mean to tell you how to do your job or anything,” Jared said, eyes wide and earnest.

Jensen shook his head. “Maybe someone should have told me how to do my job,” he said, chuckling without any humor. “My first story was a dark and gritty piece set in a dystopian world. It dealt with Free Will or the lack of thereof and how scary that is. How no matter how good you try to be, you end up being the bad guy, the villain. The story became a huge hit, reached number one on New York Times bestsellers list. And after that everyone just kept expecting me to write dark stuff, you know? So I did and before I knew it I fell into a rhythm. Now, uncomfortable and dark is my signature style.”

Jared had a thoughtful frown on his face. “When was the last time you wrote something without any obligations? The last time you drew something just because you wanted to draw and not because someone expected you to draw?”

“… I –I don’t remember.” That was lie, of course. Jensen clearly remembered sketching Jared’s face two days ago.

Jared smiled at him. “Maybe you should work on that.”

 

Jared didn’t leave the moment they were finished like Jensen thought he would. Instead he collapsed next to Jensen on the living room couch and watched Oscar through half mast eyes as he chased his own tail. The tail continued to cleverly evade the dog’s snapping jaws and after a few unsuccessful tries Oscar gave up and plopped down on his dog bed, wallowing in misery and his defeat.

After he was done laughing at Oscar’s antics, Jensen absently asked, “Did you always want to be a doctor?”

“Actually, no. I didn’t consider medicine until I was well into college,” Jared said.

“What did you want to be then?”

Jared’s smile subdued. “I wanted to join the army, like my father. He passed away when I was in high school.”

“I’m sorry,” Jensen said. He put a hand on Jared’s shoulder and squeezed it once to ground him in the present when he seemed to get a faraway look. Jared gave him a sad, half smile.

“Every time my dad was deployed I was sure that that would be the time we get a visit from a CNO. But it never happened and slowly you start thinking he’s invincible you know? Nothing can kill him. I never would have thought that it would be a heart attack that would do him in.”

Jared took a deep breath, visibly trying to shake off his grief. “My sister and I were all my mom had. I couldn’t afford to not be there for them. So I went to college, decided to become a lawyer for a while before I switched to med.”

“Do you ever regret it?” Jensen asked. “Not going into the army?”

“Never did and never will. Life’s too short and unpredictable for regrets Jensen,” he said. “Besides, I wanted to go into the army to serve my people. Being a doctor lets me do that as well, just in a different way.”

Jensen agreed and they continued talking about their past and their families. Jensen told Jared that his sister was a psychology professor and found out that Jared’s sister was a fashion designer. Jared then launched into a tirade about his sister’s latest boyfriend and how the snobby asshole was no good for his baby sister. Even though Jensen had no idea what this ‘Aaaaaron’ had done to incur Jared’s wrath, he agreed that Aaaaaron was indeed the scum of the earth, just to see Jared’s pleased smile.

As they continued to talk Jensen found himself hanging on Jared’s every word, drinking up every little snippet of information he shared about himself. It was a mindfuck, really. Jared wasn’t the type of guy Jensen would ever go for under normal circumstances. He was loud, had little to no regard for personal space, thought The Princess Bride was the pinnacle of cinematic achievement and worshipped Beyonce.

And yet, that day finds Jensen wishing that he were on an actual date with Jared. He’d never date Jared, of course, they’d never work. But it’s nice to fantasize once in a while.

 

 

 

 

Early on a Saturday morning (i.e., at 9 in the morning) four weeks after Jensen got Oscar, he woke up to a rough tongue licking all over his face. Jensen blindly groped at thin air until he found the dog’s muzzle. “Go away, you mutt.”

Oscar barked at him three times in a quick succession. _Get up. Get up. Get up_.

“Ugh! Stop barking, Oscar. Just give me five more minutes, please.” Jensen covered his ears with a pillow, turned his face away from the morning light – _who opened the damn curtains!_ – and tried to recapture his precious lost sleep. A sweet female laugh and the giggles of a little boy woke him up.

“I see you still haven’t changed much,” Mackenzie said just as Duncan screamed, “Uncle Jensen! Uncle Jensen!”

Jensen sat upright in his bed and was conscious enough to angle his body away so that his nephew’s knees didn’t crush his balls when he jumped onto the bed. “Uncle Jensen,” Ducan said, a little more subdued but with a blinding grin, as he hugged Jensen.

Jensen gave Mack a bewildered look and hugged his nephew back. He pulled away after a moment and sat Duncan on his thighs, ruffling his hair. “Hey little champ!”

Duncan pouted. “I’m not little, Uncle Jensen!” the seven year old said.

“Aren’t you now?”

“No! I’mma big boy now. I even take care of Claire,” Duncan announced proudly.

“Oh, you do? Sorry, big boy, my mistake. Clearly you are grown up and probably won’t be scared of the Tickle Monster, right?”

Duncan’s eyes widened in horror. “No, Uncle Jensen!” the boy screamed when Jensen started tickling his soft belly. “Gah! Uncle Jensen!”  Duncan scream-laughed loudly, trying his hardest to squirm away from Jensen’s hold. Only when he started getting out of breath with laughter did Jensen let him go.

“No fair! You didn’t warn me,” Duncan said, his adorable pout returned again, and folded his arms over his chest like that would shield him from Jensen’s tickles.

“Okay, I’m warning you now,” Jensen said, wiggling his fingers. “Wanna go another round?” Duncan shrieked and jumped off the bed, running straight to his mother, eliciting laughter from the adults in the room.

Mack who had been watching the exchange quietly sat down on the edge of the bed, holding her son in her lap. Oscar ran over to her and stared curiously at the little human. When Duncan started petting the dog, calling it a _puppy_ , Oscar went with the flow, clearly reveling in the attention. Jensen guessed the dog must have gotten used to grabby little kids in his last home.

“Well this is a pleasant surprise” Jensen told Mack. “How did you get in anyway?”

Mack smiled at him. Her green eyes sparkled as she spoke. “You really should stop hiding your spare key under the gardenia pot, Jensen. And your dog here let us right in.”

Jensen smacked his forehead. He is going to get robbed one of these days, either because he leaves his spare key under a pot on the front porch or because his dog is going to welcome the burglars in with a wagging tail. Jensen turned his accusing eyes towards Oscar.

Oscar barked, still trapped between Duncan’s hands. _Hey, she had a cute kid in tow. Figured she’d be harmless_. Jensen rolled his eyes at him.

“So you got a dog,” Mack said, petting Oscar’s head. “And he’s turned into your mom.”

Jensen snorted, rubbing away the last vestiges of sleep from his eyes. “More like my slave master. He was only waking me up to demand I feed him. I don’t know how I ever thought having a dog would be fun. He’s like the most annoying alarm clock ever.”

“Oh, come on Jen. He’s so cute. Look at him,” Mack said, helpfully pointing towards Oscar’s puppy dog eyes. Oscar lolled his tongue out at him and wagged his tail furiously.

Jensen refused to stick his tongue out at his dog in retaliation. He was not that childish… when he had company. “Yeah, that’s part of his facade.”

“You are no fun, big brother,” Mack scolded him with a smile in her voice. She let Duncan down to play with Oscar and turned fully to Jensen. “How are you doing Jensen?”

“I was doing very well until my peaceful slumber was ruined,” Jensen grumbled. He needs his morning hit of caffeine pronto.

“You know you whine like Duncan when you wake up in the morning?”

Jensen glared at his sister. “I do not whine. And if I did whine, it’s Duncan who whines like me. Not the other way around.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

“So how have you been?” Jensen asked. “How are Claire and the baby daddy?”

“Claire’s good. She’s with Daniel,” Mack said pointedly.

“He’ll always be the baby daddy to me,” Jensen said and Mack rolled her eyes in exasperation. “Is Claire still going through the princess stage?”

“She is. I swear to God Jensen, if I hear Let It Go one more time I’m going to shoot somebody.”

Jensen’s niece, like all little girls her age, was going through the Frozen Phase. Jensen found it cute but he wasn’t the one who had to run around the whole city looking for a Princess Elsa costume on the weekend before Halloween because they were all sold out.

“Did you know they were making a sequel to Frozen?” Jensen asked and watched in glee and his sister’s eyes widened in horror.

Just then a loud bang from downstairs made them all jump – all of them except Oscar. The dog simply barked happily and ran out of the room, his tail wagging behind him.

“That must be Jared,” Jensen said, getting out of bed.

“Who?”

Jensen froze for a moment. _Shit_. He really doesn’t want to introduce his sister to Jared. Not yet. He’ll be lucky if he gets out of this morning without his little sister embarrassing the hell out of him. He can only hope that Mack won’t bring up the story of him getting drunk and breaking into Mrs. Potter’s yard with his friends… buck naked.

“He’s my neighbor,” Jensen said.

“Your neighbors barge into your house like that?”

“Uh…”

“Ackles!” A loud yell from downstairs saved Jensen from giving Mack a sensible explanation. “Where’s the sugar, you bastard!” Jared’s voice was followed by the sound of cupboards being opened and his refrigerator being banged shut.

“I better go downstairs before he sets fire to my kitchen,” Jensen told Mack, fleeing the room before he could see Mack’s knowing smile.

Jared had apparently found the sugar he was looking for because he now sat at the kitchen island with a steaming cup of coffee in his hands. His eyes were red-rimmed and had dark circles under them. Oscar was sitting close to him but he got up and ran towards Jensen when he came in. The dog circled around his legs, trying his darndest to trip him, his wagging tail hitting Jensen’s thighs hard.

“Oscar, down.”

Oscar barked loudly. _Like I’m going to take orders from you_. Jared winced at the sound and turned his miserable puppy eyes towards Jensen. “Just feed him!”

Faced with two overgrown puppies, Jensen had to concede defeat. He filled Oscar’s bowl with food and let the dog wolf it down. Then he turned to Jared and saw him half-asleep on the bar stool, eyes drooping and head falling to his chin. Jared jerked awake suddenly and picked up his coffee again, taking ginger sips of the hot liquid.

“Uh… Jared?”

“The hospital turned me into a sleep deprived zombie, I got politely groped by a soccer mom on the train back and my coffee machine is set out to kill me,” Jared answered.

“You have weird neighbors, Jensen,” came Mackenzie’s voice and Jensen turned around to find his sister standing in the hallway. Duncan was holding his momma’s hand when he came in but the moment he saw Oscar, he ran towards the dog, all humans forgotten. “Oscah!” he yelled as he ran.

The commotion made Jared look up from his longing eye sex with the coffee. “Is this where you tell me you have a secret wife and a kid?” he asked Jensen.

“No, this is where I tell you that this is my sister and my nephew,” Jensen said. He had a bad feeling about how this day was going to go.

“Oh! Nice to meet you. Please come back after my brain is online,” Jared said, collapsing face first onto the kitchen counter and falling asleep.

Mack stared at Jared with raised eyebrows. Then she nodded to herself, seemingly satisfied. “Like I said… weird neighbors. Hot. But weird.”

Jensen saw the mischievous glint in Mackenzie’s eyes and simply groaned, hoping that the ground would swallow him while he still had his dignity untouched.

 

“And I really wanted that towel back so I pulled it off his waist and only then realized that he wasn’t wearing anything underneath it! So here he was standing buck naked in our lawn on a warm Texas morning with his date standing right before him!”

Jared stood up from his seat clutching his stomach and almost keeled over but didn’t stop laughing. There were tears of mirth in his eyes and his cheeks were an adorable cherry pink, his dimples permanently etched into his cheeks. His jaw had to be hurting by now, Jensen thought absently. Mackenzie was in no better condition, laughing just as hard between gasps for breath.

Jensen was the only one who was not amused.

“Oh my God! That was… That’s…” Jared fumbled over a few more false starts before giving up and laughing a little more.

“It wasn’t that funny!” Jensen muttered under his breath. He thought he was embarrassed when Mackenzie retold the Mrs. Potter incident but he forgot all about the Towel-Gate. No, this was the most embarrassing story ever.

“Are you kidding me?” Mack half-shrieked. “You should have seen his face, Jared. He wouldn’t come out of his room for a week!”

After a few more bouts of laughter, Jared and Mack quieted down and softly panted while Jensen prayed for the floor to eat him up. Jared then turned to him with his smile still plastered on his face. “I’m surprised your crush didn’t ask you to marry him on the spot after the show you gave him,” he said. Jensen blushed hard.

“Well, Adam did try to get Jensen to go out on more dates after the incident but Jensen was too embarrassed to take him up on the offer,” Mack said gleefully, reveling in her big brother’s mortification. “If he had he might have gotten laid before the last semester of college.”

“Hey! There are kids in this room!”

“Duncan isn’t even paying attention to us, Jen,” Mack said, but still checking to make sure that yes, Duncan was busy trying to chase Oscar around the house. “Don’t worry. I’ll take full responsibility for effectively ruining your love life by embarrassing the hell out of you in front of your boyfriends and girlfriends.” She turned to Jared. “I was a mean little kid back then.”

“Back then?” Jensen scoffed. “You have always been a mean little person and will be even after you have grandkids.”

Mack shrugged. “Yeah, I guess you’re right, considering that I am embarrassing you in front of your crush right now as well.”

Jensen and Jared’s eyes snapped to each other and Jensen saw Jared blush even darker than before. “It’s not – I don’t have a – Uh…” Jensen stumbled upon his words while Jared did his best to avoid his eyes. In the background he heard his sister snicker. “Mack!”

Jensen hit the back of his giggling sister’s head, trying to knock some sense into her. It must have worked because then Mack said in a much subdued and mature voice, “Sorry. Sorry. I was just trying to screw with my brother.”

“Yeah, that’s what all sisters do, I guess,” Jared said with a smile. If Jensen hadn’t been watching Jared closely he’d think that Jared was unaffected by what Mack had said. But Jensen had been watching Jared and when Mack had said that she was kidding he saw something that could only be described as… disappointment.

“You talk like you speak from experience,” Mack said, taking a drink of water.

“I do. I have a little sister as well. She’s a troublemaker.”

“The two of us should meet sometime.”

Jared’s eyes widened comically. “Are you shitting me? I wouldn’t even let you two be in the same room let alone talk!”

Mack rolled her eyes. “Oh come on. It’s not like we’d be planning world domination or something.”

“I wouldn’t put world domination past you little gremlins,” Jensen said. Jared nodded and backed him up. “Don’t think we don’t know what sinister plans you little sisters hatch up when you get together,” he said, waving an accusing finger at Mack with his eyes narrowed to slits. “I’m onto you ladies.”

Mack laughed with her head thrown back. “I can’t exactly argue with you guys, can I? I’m out numbered.”

“Even if you weren’t – OH SHIT!” Jared jumped out of his chair, his horror filled eyes fixed to the far wall. “It’s past 12! I gotta go!”

“What? Why?” Mack whined, looking very sad at the idea of parting with her new best friend and co-conspirator in ‘Mission Embarrass The Fuck Out Of Jensen’.

“I’d love to stay, Mack but I need to get to work. I have a night shift again tonight,” Jared said, directing the last part at Jensen.

“I thought you were getting the day off?” Jensen asked, ignoring Mack’s curious look.

“I did too but Chad called and asked for a favor. He needs me to take over his shift tonight so he can deal with a personal emergency.”

“And by personal emergency you mean…”

“The clingy blonde with D cups he couldn’t stop talking about till last week, yes,” Jared finished. He started hopping around in the kitchen with one shoe on, searching for the other. “Damn it, where is my other shoe?”

“Oscar!” Jensen called. His dog woofed from the living room but didn’t bother to come to him.

“Yes, Uncle Jensen?” Duncan asked and Mack’s face lit up with pride in the face of her son’s politeness.

“Does Oscar have a shoe with him, buddy?”

Duncan took a moment before answering. “He is chewing on it?” he said, sounding sheepish.

Jared rolled his eyes and limped on one foot over to the living room. From his place in the kitchen Jensen could hear Jared reprimanding Oscar for, once again, stealing Jared’s footwear.

In the kitchen, Mack kept giving him _the stare_. The Stare was usually meant to convey something important and Mack expected him to figure out what it was without the help of verbal communication. “What?” Jensen asked, a little defensively.

Mack stared at him for a moment longer. “Nothing,” she said. Which usually meant, _we’ll talk later_.

Jared came back into the living room wearing both his shoes – one of them was dripping in dog drool – and headed straight to the kitchen counter.

“I’m taking the leftover sandwiches with me for lunch,” Jared told Jensen as he pulled out tinfoil from one of the drawers. “How long are you staying, Mack?” he asked as he worked on packing his lunch.

“Not long, I’m afraid. I’m leaving this evening,” Mack said.

“That’s a shame. I’d love to chat more with you but I have to get going. I’m late as it is. Bye Mack. Bye Jensen.” With that Jared was out the back door.

Jensen turned to Mack after he saw Jared jump over their shared fence into his own backyard. “What’s the hurry? Duncan doesn’t have school tomorrow.”

“No, but I do. I have to grade some papers. I am only here because I had a seminar at NYU yesterday.”

Jensen hummed his acknowledgement but otherwise continued to stare at the spot where Jared had just disappeared.

“Jensen!” Mack called and startled Jensen out of his reverie. By the looks of it she had been calling his name more than once.

“Yeah?” Jensen asked, trying not to sound like a kid caught with his hand down the cookie jar.

Mack smiled softly at him. “You like him.” It wasn’t a question and Jensen didn’t bother answering it. He didn’t deny it either.

“Did you ask him out yet?”

Jensen knew the question was coming so he had an answer ready. “He’s 30, Mack,” Jensen said, like that should explain everything. In his mind, it should have.

“He still fits the half-the-age-plus-seven rule,” Mack said casually.

“It doesn’t matter. He’s still young and has his whole life ahead of him. He doesn’t need someone like me holding him back.”

“That’s bull and you know it.” Mack’s voice was stern now, her face set in a hard mask. “Despite what you might think you do deserve good things, Jen. Just because you made a mistake once doesn’t mean you can’t move past it your whole life.”

“I don’t want to talk about Danneel,” Jensen said, rubbing a hand over his face. Danneel had always been a sore subject between him and his sister. Mack believed that he and Danneel should have separated long ago.

“Fine. Let’s talk about Jared then. You’re going to have to do much better than the age old excuse ‘he deserves someone better’.”

“How about the fact that we are polar opposites then?” Jensen asked, getting agitated himself. “And I’m not just talking about Jared being a fucking Spurs fan. You saw him, Mack. You know he and I are nothing alike.”

Mack sighed. “Jensen – ”

“I made that mistake once,” Jensen said cutting her off. “I thought I could live my life with someone who isn’t like me. I’m not making that mistake twice. And certainly not with Jared.”

“Danneel was different – ” Mack tried.

“How?”

Mack remained silent, just looked at Jensen with big, earnest green eyes. Jensen nodded to himself. “Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Jensen said, getting up from his chair and heading towards the living room, effectively ending the conversation.

Just as Jensen was about to call for Oscar Mack spoke up. “Alright, I get why you would be reluctant to put your heart out there again but I just hope that you know… There can be a million reasons why you shouldn’t be with someone but often there’ll be just one reason why you should. And that one reason should be enough.”

“And what would that one reason be?”

Mack smiled at him sadly. “You’ll have to figure it out for yourself, brother.”

 

 

 

 

The next day found Jensen driving in the morning rush hour traffic to get Oscar to a hospital.

Jensen had woken up to a horrible retching sound interspersed with pitiful whines, Oscar sounding like he had sandpaper stuck in his throat. Jensen was on his feet so fast that he lost his balance for a moment before he ran out of the room. He found Oscar in the hallway next to a puddle of vomit looking like death warmed over.

“What’s wrong, buddy?” Jensen asked, crouching next to Oscar and rubbing his flank. The poor dog leaned into his hands like a touch-starved pet and put his head on Jensen’s knee, almost like he couldn’t support the weight of it anymore.

There was a long trail of filth and excretion down the hallway, leading all the way to the stairs and probably further. If Jensen was worried before, he started panicking on seeing that. He made Oscar drink some water before ushering him into the dog cage and getting the Impala on the road in no time. Inside the cage Oscar was already lying on his side, panting harshly with his tongue lolled out.

Jensen might have broken a few traffic rules in his attempt to avoid the pesky signals but he found himself held up at one anyway. After cursing a blue streak and getting a few annoyed glances from a mom driving her children to the school, Jensen pulled out his phone and dialed Jared’s number.

He only noticed his hands were shaking when his fingers fumbled on the keypad.

“Hello?”

Jensen heard the rattle of the train in the background. His voice shook as he spoke. “Jared?”

“Jen, what’s wrong?” Jared asked immediately on hearing his voice.

“Uh, it’s Oscar. He is sick and I’m taking him to the vet.”

“What happened to him?” Jensen could hear the urgency in Jared’s voice and imagined him sitting up straighter, a frown forming on his forehead.

“Found him this morning puking and shitting all over the place. I didn’t know what to do,” Jensen said, his eyes involuntarily skirting towards Oscar to check on him.

“Shit. Alright Jensen, listen to me,” Jared said, his voice calm and collected. “It’s probably nothing He must have eaten something that didn’t agree with him. He’ll be alright.”

“What if he isn’t? He looks really bad, Jay.”

“He will be fine, Jensen. Just don’t freak out, okay? You’re taking him to Dr. Cassidy, right?” Jensen nodded before realizing that Jared couldn’t see him. But it was a rhetorical question anyway so Jared barreled on. “I’ll be there in twenty minutes, max. Hell, by the time I come over Dr. Cassidy would already have looked over Oscar and told you that he was completely fine. And then I’m going to tell you ‘I told you so’. So don’t freak out. Everything will be alright.”

Jensen nodded once more, repeating Jared’s words to himself. _Everything will be alright. Oscar will be alright._ “Yeah, okay. I have to go now, the traffic’s moving,” Jensen said before hanging up. He put a hand on Oscar’s cage and said, “You’ll be fine, buddy. I’ll take care of you.” Oscar let out a small bark in agreement.

The clinic was empty and as soon as Sophia, the receptionist, saw his worried face she rushed in to get Dr. Cassidy. Jensen, who had been standing in middle of the room with Oscar clutched close to him, practically screamed at the vet when she came out to meet him.

“He has a bad case of diarrhea and he’s been puking nonstop!” He added, “Jared thinks he ate something bad,” and Oscar whined at him as if defending his innocence.

Dr. Cassidy nodded and calmly took Oscar from his arms. “That’s probably what happened. Why don’t you sit down and take a breather while I look at Oscar, okay?”

Jensen’s hands lingered in Oscar’s brown fur, refusing to let go, so scared of losing his new best friend, but he nodded once and sat himself in the chair that Sophia led him to. He watched with a heavy gut as Oscar was taken away into the examining room. Suddenly the white walls of the vet clinic felt too big for him.

It felt like he’d been in the waiting area for hours when Jared burst into the clinic. Jensen was easy to spot in the deserted hallway and Jared quickly moved towards him, taking up the empty chair next to him. Jensen could smell the antibiotics and the sterile hospital bandages on Jared and the guy was sporting a barely there stubble. Jared looked like he hadn’t slept in over 24 hours and Jensen realized that he probably didn’t. Jared could have been in his warm bed in his house right now, taking a well deserved nap after back to back night shifts at the ER.

And yet there he was, warm palm solid and reassuring on Jensen’s back, as they settled in to wait for the doctor’s verdict. Jared didn’t say anything to him while they waited. He simply sat next to Jensen in a silent show of support, his presence reminding him that he wasn’t alone in this – that he didn’t have to be.

Jensen had always been a ‘What-If’ kind of guy. Always wondering _what if this didn’t work_ or _what if that went the wrong way_ or _what if he didn’t like me_ or _what if I lost him_. His over thinking mind, always scared of the ‘what-if’s had stopped him from doing many things in his life, prevented him from being spontaneous, forced him to always reconsider his actions. He’d say that he was a cautious person. Danneel sometimes said that he was a coward.

That very same fear of the ‘what-if’ had made him marry a woman that he wasn’t sure he loved and then forced him to spend ten years of his life with her until he had no choice but to leave. That same fear made him reluctant to even consider the possibility of a relationship with Jared. And it made his mind run amok as he sat in the waiting room.

_What if it was something very serious?_

_What if it was something I gave him?_

_Can never do anything right. Had to take care of fucking dog and I screwed it up so bad. Now Oscar has to pay for my dumb mistakes._

_What if they can’t save him?_

_I was just starting to teach him tricks. There was so much stuff we didn’t get to do together._

_Oh God! Please don’t take him away._

“Jensen?” Jared called and broke Jensen out of his reverie.

“Yeah?” Jensen answered in a raspy voice.

“He’s going to be okay, you know?” Jared said with a small smile. “Dogs are more resilient than you think. Oscar is going to be fine, Jensen.”

“You think?” Jensen asked, wincing internally at how small and vulnerable he sounds.

Jared nodded. “He’s got an amazing human like you looking after him. You’re better than any angel on his shoulder.”

Jensen couldn’t help it, he laughed and let out a relived exhale. _Oscar’s going to be fine_ , he told himself once more and this time, he could even believe it.

About an hour after Jensen had rushed into the clinic with his oversized dog in his arms, Dr. Cassidy walked out of the examination room with a small smile on her face. Jensen was on his feet immediately with Jared following him.

“How’s Oscar?” he asked, almost breathless with tension.

“Oscar is fine, Jensen,” Dr. Cassidy assures with a smile. “He’s holding up well. He had a mild stomach infection, probably because of eating something unsanitary. We gave him an IV to replace the lost fluids and some broad spectrum antibiotics for now. I sent his blood samples to the lab and they should be back anytime now. On examining them further I’ll prescribe some medicines that you can give to him with his food. After that you can take him home. If he takes it easy and follows a healthy diet for a couple of weeks, he should be back to his full strength in no time.”

Jensen visibly sagged with relief and covered his face with his hands, sending silent thanks to whoever was watching over Oscar. Jared patted him on the back and turned to Dr. Cassidy. “Can we see Oscar now?” he asked.

“Sure thing. Follow me.”

Dr. Cassidy led them to a small room with cages and pens lining the walls. In one of the larger pens was Oscar, lying down with his head on his front paws. On hearing Jensen’s arrival Oscar sat up and started wagging his tail. He already looked much better, his eyes alert and his barks stronger. When Jensen got closer the dog started climbing up the cage in an attempt to get out and greet his master and it made Jensen smile to see that Oscar missed him just as much as he missed his dog.

“Down, boy,” Jensen said, getting on his knees and petting Oscar through the cage. “You gotta take it easy now.”

Oscar simply barked in response, licking at Jensen’s hands and pawing at the door. _Shut up, human. Trying to have a moment here._

Jensen laughed. God, he missed Oscar.

A moment later Jensen remembered he wasn’t alone and turned around to find both Jared and Dr. Cassidy grinning widely at him. Jensen scratched the back of his neck, feeling weirdly embarrassed.

“I’m not supposed to do this,” Dr. Cassidy said slowly, biting her lip in consideration. “But I guess you and Jared can stay with Oscar until I get the blood work sorted out.” She opened Oscar’s cage and shrugged. “It’s not a busy day anyway,” she said with a smile. “Just don’t let him exhaust himself.”

“Thank you, Katie-o,” Jared said, giving her his most charming smile that let him get away with almost anything. She gave them a conspiratorial wink and left them alone with Oscar.

Jensen entered the pen and sat down next to Oscar and the dog calmed down a little, settling his head on Jensen’s thigh and closing his eyes in contentment as Jensen petted him. Jared continued to watch him with his little smile that made his eyes soften and his dimples dig in. The intense gaze got to Jensen after a few minutes and he said, “You think I’m an idiot for freaking out like that.”

Jared’s smile grew and he shook his head a little. He sat next to Jensen and spoke while looking at Oscar. “I deal with harried moms who think their kids are going to bleed out because of a scraped knee, Jensen,” he said, his voice soft and soothing, calming Jensen’s frayed nerves as he spoke. “I never really understood them, you know? Sometimes they’d even get on my nerves.” He paused to rub Oscar’s flank, his long fingers combing through the fur, his pinky occasionally brushing Jensen’s. “But I get it now.”

“What?” Jensen asked, his voice just as low, almost a whisper.

Jared finally lifted his eyes to Jensen’s and Jensen found himself under some sort of spell that wouldn’t let him look away. “I guess, when someone you love is hurting, no matter how small the pain is, you wanna take away the pain and comfort them. ‘Cause you can’t see them hurting. That’s not so wrong, is it? Loving someone that much?”

“I guess not,” Jensen whispered. He realized just how close they are sitting – _too close._ It would be so, _so_ easy for Jensen to lean forward and press his lips to Jared’s. The thought made him lick his lips and he saw Jared’s eyes drift to them for a second. Jared’s hand found his and stilled Jensen’s petting of Oscar as he leaned forward imperceptibly.

Jensen thought _this is it, he’s going to kiss me._ It seemed like that’s what was going to happen – until they heard Dr. Cassidy reentering the room. Jared jumped back with a blush on his cheeks and his face frozen in disbelief.

While Jensen signed the various forms needed to check Oscar out and listened to Dr. Cassidy talk about Oscar’s dietary requirements, he couldn’t help but miss the warmth of Jared’s hand on his.

 

 

 

 

The problem was that when Jensen gets attached, he gets way too attached. And he was now attached to one Jared Padalecki.

This was no small crush anymore. Jensen was falling for Jared and he was falling hard. He knew he had to do something about it because clearly, Jared was interested in him as well. The scene in the clinic demonstrated that well enough. He couldn’t lead the poor kid on when there was no future for them together. They simply were too incompatible, not to mention the age gap and, despite what Mack said, that was a huge fucking deal.

After bringing Oscar home and steadfastly avoiding Jared’s eyes as he thanked him for being there, Jensen had decided to start dating again. Not right away because Oscar was still weak and he needed Jensen. But he swore to himself that he would call Chris as soon as Oscar was better, get a dog-sitter and get back in the dating game. That was the only was he could take his mind off Jared and crush this stupid thing between them right in the bud.

So Jensen started dating again. Well, at least he tried to.

Jensen had just gotten home and relieved his babysitter when his phone rang. It was Chris. “So how was it?”

“It tanked.” Jensen was sprawled out on the couch in his home office, tie askew, one shoe off and the other still dangling from his toes, his usually perfectly styled hair in disarray. Jensen hadn’t bothered to turn on the light so the room was mostly dark, with just a silver of light spilling in from the hallway

 “What? Why?” Chris asked. Jensen would have laughed at his friend’s whining if he weren’t so goddamned tired.

“Because the dude suddenly realized that he was still in love with his ex-wife,” Jensen said. Oscar padded over to the couch and rested his head on Jensen’s stomach. Jensen ran his fingers through the dog’s fur while he listened to his friend rant.

“God, Jensen! How can you manage to screw up every single date I arrange for you? All five of them in the past three weeks! Matt wasn’t looking for anything but some no-strings-attached sex. He was literally there to just have sex. You were simply supposed to fuck him. How does someone blow that?”

“He kept making Game of Thrones references, Chris. Fucking asshole spoiled Joffery’s death for me.”

“Okay, what about Joanna?”

“She was too in love with her iPhone to even have a decent conversation with me.”

Jensen heard Chris take in a deep breath, seemingly reigning in his temper. He still sounded like he was seconds away from yelling when he spoke. “What about Mark? What was it that you said? ‘He was too British?’ And then there was Mike. ‘Too bald,’ you say. And I say, fuck you. There is no pleasing you!”

“Hey, this one wasn’t my fault,” Jensen said. “From the moment we started dinner all Misha could talk about was how Vicky would have loved the wine and how Italian was Vicky’s favourite and how Vicky writes books as well. Oh, and my personal favorite? He talked about the time he and his wife had a threesome with a French chick.”

By the end of the dinner it was less of a date and more of a therapy session. Jensen had finally managed to convince the guy to call his ex-wife and sort things out. He apparently did because all Jensen was left with was a ‘ _Thank you, thank you, thank you so much_ ’ and the bill. The endless gratitude that Misha swore to him didn’t sweeten the sting of a hundred dollar bill.

Chris sighed. “Okay so _maybe_ this one is on me,” he said sheepishly. “Fine. You know what? As a complementary date, come out to the bar tomorrow night. There’s this guy Austin that I want you to-”

“No, Chris.” Jensen pinched the bridge of his nose to stave off an impending headache. “I think I’ll let this one pass. I’m really not in the mood.”

“C’mon, Jen-”

“No, man. I’ve had enough of this circus for this week. Maybe next time.”

Chris was silent for a long time. “Jensen, don’t chew me out for asking this but, do you even want to date someone else?” he asked softly.

Jensen frowned. “What do you mean someone else?”

“I uh, I talked to Mack,” Chris said in lieu of an explanation.

“Chris…” Jensen warned.

“I’m just saying, man. Maybe you should try it out with this Jared guy first.”

“I said it to Mack and I’ll say it again to you,” Jensen’s voice took a hard edge, “Jared and me aren’t going to work out so there’s no point in trying. And this has nothing to do with Jared.” Except it had _everything_ to do with Jared but acknowledging that was not something Jensen wanted to do.

“If you say so, Jensen,” Chris said, sounding tired himself.

“I’ll talk to you later,” Jensen said, hanging up.

The headache was already starting to take residence in his head and Jensen felt like his brain was too big for his skull. There was a distant pounding that kept getting on Jensen’s frayed nerves and it took him a minute to realize that it was actually coming from his back door. Oscar raced out on hearing the noise but Jensen groaned and rolled onto his stomach in an effort to block out the noise. He hoped it would go away if he ignored it long enough and, miracle of miracles, it did.

Only, a minute later, his relative peace was disturbed when someone rudely turned on the lights in his study.

“Oh thank God! I thought you were dead, like that cat lady, and that Oscar was eating you.” Jared Padalecki, everyone.

“Jared, you don’t always make sense when I’m completely functional,” Jensen said into the couch cushions, “but right now you sound like that crazy old woman from down the street.” Jensen turned his head slightly to the right and peeked out from under his half-lidded eyes to see Jared petting Oscar.

“I haven’t seen you in two days,” Jared said. “If I didn’t know better I’d think you were avoiding me.” He bodily pulled Jensen upright and sat down in the spot that his head that just vacated and Oscar plopped down in the space that his torso was in moments before. Jensen thought he should feel more annoyed at these two puppy dogs encroaching on his space and disturbing his brooding-time but he really wasn’t.

“Are you avoiding me, Jensen?” Jared asked, his eyes narrowed.

Jensen rolled his eyes. “Like that’s even possible,” he said. He was more alert now, his headache almost forgotten. He relaxed into his seat, loosened his cuffs and undid the first two buttons of his shirt. “Take right now, for example,” he said, “its 10 o’clock in the night and you just strolled right in like you own this place.”

“Yeah, well, had to make sure you weren’t dead,” Jared said, shrugging. “I recently read about this woman that died in her house and no one found her for weeks. By the time they did her cats were eating her.”

Jensen made a face and tried not to gag. He looked at Oscar and asked, “You wouldn’t eat me, would you?”

Oscar tilted his head. _I’m not making any promises, human_.

“He wouldn’t, because you have an awesome neighbor like me. I’d take good care of Oscar,” Jared said, with a wide salesman grin.

Jensen shook his head fondly. “Glad to know that.”

Jared fell quite for a moment, stealing little glances at Jensen at failing miserably at not being obvious about it.

“So you dressed up,” Jared said, a little too casually.

Jensen suppressed a smug little smile at the thought that Jared might be subtly checking him out. “I did.”

Jared nodded. “You look different. Formal.”

“Different good or different bad?” Jensen asked. He knew he was playing a dangerous game and that he should stop. But who doesn’t like an ego boost now and again? At least that’s what Jensen told himself. It totally wasn’t about how his heart beat a little faster when Jared’s eyes lingered over his biceps or his toned chest.

“Good. Really good,” Jared said, his voice low and his eyes dark. His teeth worried at his bottom lip while he held Jensen’s gaze. Jensen might have done something like replaced Jared’s teeth with his own and bite at the delicious looking pink lips if Jared hadn’t asked the next question when he did.

“Did you go out on a date?” That broke the spell and sent Jensen reeling back into his senses.

“What? Uh, no. I was out with a friend.”

“A friend?”

Jensen didn’t know what had possessed him when he lied about going out on a date but he couldn’t back out of it now. “Yeah, a friend. He was really torn up about separating from his wife and needed someone to talk to. So…” he trailed off. Well, it wasn’t completely a lie.

Jared nodded, still a little unsure, but he smiled. “It’s just weird because I thought I was your only friend.”

“Hey, come on now. I have friends. I’m not that much of a chore to be around,” Jensen said with a smile of his own. “Am I?”

“No, you aren’t,” Jared said. He shook his head a little and took a deep breath, getting to his feet. “It’s late, I should get to bed. I just wanted to catch you before I leave for work tomorrow morning.”

“Okay, I’ll see you to the door,” Jensen said, standing up as well.

When they entered the hallway Jensen noticed the bags under Jared’s eyes and his messy ponytail. He walked with his shoulders slumped and dragged his feet across the carpet. In the kitchen Jared crouched down next to Oscar, who had followed them, and dished out some goodbye pets. Jensen could tell that he was reluctant to leave and was stalling.

“Everything okay?” Jensen asked.

“What? Yeah?” Jared said around a forced laugh. When he saw that Jensen wasn’t buying it, he dropped the act. He straightened up and leaned on the kitchen counter, his voice barely more than a whisper when he spoke.

“Lost two patients today. Newlyweds on their honeymoon. Hit and run. The girl was awake when they brought her in. She kept asking for her husband but he died as soon as he came in. I couldn’t do anything about it.”

Jensen pulled him into a hug and Jared melted into his arms, hiding his face in his shoulder. They stood like that for a moment before Jared stepped back, schooling his features before speaking. “Sorry. Usually I don’t let it get to me but sometimes I can’t help it.”

“That’s nothing to apologize for, Jared. You are allowed to have a moment of weakness once in a while.”

“Thanks. You know, for the hug,” Jared said, looking a little awkward.

Jensen smiled. “Why? Does it feel weird when you’re not the one dishing them out?”

Jared laughed. “Yeah, it kinda does.” Jared pushed his hair away from his face, a nervous tick as Jensen had come to know. He avoided Jensen’s eyes, standing awkwardly in the middle of the white kitchen, looking like he wanted to say more but couldn’t.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Jensen asked. He wasn’t really the person to talk about feelings but for Jared he would do it.

Jared sighed and looked at him from underneath his lashes. “Not really, no. There isn’t much to talk about, really. I’m just a little shaken, I guess.”

“Why?” It was weird that Jared was taking this particular death to heart. This couldn’t have been the first time he lost someone.

“They were young, Jensen. Early 20s. They must have thought they had their wholes lives ahead of them. All the words left unsaid, all the stuff that they wanted to do together, they won’t get to do it anymore.”

Jensen fell silent. He didn’t have anything to say to that. But it seemed like Jared didn’t need him to give out any reassurances. He just needed someone to talk to, someone to lean on. Jensen could be that someone.

“You wanna go out?” Jensen asked.

“Out?”

“Yeah, let’s go get a drink. Al’s is open all night long.”

Jared frowned. “You don’t like going to bars.”

Jensen shrugged. “I’ll suck it up for a night. You could use some down time.”

“Thanks, Jensen, but no. I know how much you hate crowds and I can’t ask that of you,” Jared said. He smirked cheekily. “Aren’t you too old to be out after 10, anyway?”

“Oh go fuck yourself, Padalecki,” Jensen said without any heat.

Jared winked at him. “I do. Every night. With a twelve inch dildo.”

Before Jensen could process that shocking and arousing bit of information, Jared’s face turned a little serious. “If you are serious about going out, I know some place we could go.”

Jensen shook himself off the NC-17 thoughts. “Uh, yeah sure, where?”

“Just get your car keys,” Jared said before whistling at Oscar to follow him outside.

Thirty minutes of car ride later they were on a deserted back road. Away from civilization, the stars looked brighter and the air smelled cleaner here. Oscar had his little dog head outside the window, tongue lolling in the wind. Jared was watching the stars through the windshield with a small smile on his face.

A few minutes later they came across an empty field filled with fireflies and Jared asked Jensen to pull up.“Get the beer,” he said before getting out of the car and letting Oscar out. The dog was off like a missile, barking and running around. Jared pulled out the blankets they had packed while Jensen got the cooler from the trunk.Spreading the blankets on the Impala’s warm hood, Jared climbed up and leaned back onto the glass, his eyes turned to the sky.

Jensen had to just stop and look at Jared for a moment – the endless legs, the long body stretched out sinfully on the hood of his baby, the little smile and the dimples bracketing them, soft eyes reflecting the stars. The view stole his breath away.

Jared turned to Jensen and smiled. He patted the spot beside him and Jensen climbed up carefully so as to not hurt his car. He opened two beers and passed one to Jared.

For a long time they just sat in silence and watched the stars and the fireflies. It almost felt like the stars had descended on them. The little fireflies buzzed around in the little field and answering lights from the females started popping up in the undergrowth.

“Wow,” Jensen whispered after some time.

“Pretty cool, huh?”

“Yeah.”

Oscar seemed to agree with Jared and Jensen because he danced around in the clearing, jumping and barking, trying to catch a firefly in his paws.

“He seems to be having fun,” Jared said, looking at Oscar. The poor little guy was almost overwhelmed, running from one firefly to another, possibly trying to find the brightest one.

“I’m having fun, too,” Jensen said. “It feels really good. To just sit and watch.”

“You are welcome,” Jared said with a smug little grin.

They fell silent after that, content to sip the quickly warming beer and watching Oscar roll around in the dirt, illuminated by the moon and the glow of the fireflies. The silence felt comfortable and safe, drowning out every little worry or stress Jensen had. It felt like he was breathing for the first time in a long time.

“I finished Blankets,” Jared said softly.

“You like it?”

“I love it. There was just something so true and raw about it, you know?” Jared said. Jensen looked at him, surprised by the emotion in his voice.

“It felt like I was there with Craig all along,” Jared said, his hands moving animatedly as he talked, his eyes shining with sincerity and excitement. “And I could relate to him. Not the abusive parents and the strict upbringing part but the struggles that he went through, trying to fit in, trying to find something to hold onto in life when everything seems unfair sometimes. I know it’s about coming to terms with being different and all that but to me, it’s about finding something to hold onto. A dream, an idea, a person, anything. When the real world seems like it’s too much, just something to escape to. Most people think that’s silly or cowardly but sometimes things like that give us strength to face our demons.”

“Like Raina gave Craig the strength to accept himself,” Jensen said, nodding in thought.

“Exactly.”

“That’s an interesting thought,” Jensen said. “For me, Blankets is special because it hits a little too close to home.”

Jared’s eyes widened. “You mean your parents…”

Jensen laughed and shook his head. “They didn’t throw me into small, dark closets to punish me, no. They weren’t exactly abusive but they weren’t the most supportive people either.”

Jared put a hand on Jensen’s but didn’t say anything, waited for Jensen to continue. “I was a freak at school because I was a geek, I was a freak in my family because I didn’t fit their idea of a ‘boy’. Didn’t play baseball, bisexual, not career oriented. I was a misfit everywhere. Everyone was always telling me what I should do or how I should act and I’m ashamed to admit it but I listen to them. Everything in my life, from my failed marriage to the books I write, there’s always someone telling me what to do.” Jensen sighed. “Sometimes I wish I was brave enough like Craig, strong enough to just be myself.” He looked at Jared with a self deprecating smile. “But, I’m not. I’m just too scared of the consequences all the time.”

“The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear,” Jared quoted.

“Nelson Mandela,” Jensen answered with a smile.

“We all feel afraid, Jensen.” Jared’s eyes didn’t bear any judgment, just understanding. His face looked so soft and beautiful in the glow of the fireflies. Too perfect and too far away for Jensen to reach.

“Not you,” Jensen whispered.

Jared took in a deep breath, looking a little hesitant. “When I was young I was a fat, short kid,” he laughed a little, running his fingers through his hair. “Yeah, I know. Hard to believe right now but it’s true. I could never keep my hand out of the candy jar. Everyone always made fun of me but the bullying started in high school. No one wanted to talk to the fat kid and I was the jocks’ favorite punching bag. Probably had something to do with how squishy I was.”

Jared paused, lost in terrible memories. Jensen squeezed his hand to let him know that he was there. Jared squeezed back and spoke again. “I hated everything about my body and I wanted to change it. I’d stopped eating properly, made myself throw up every time I thought I’d eaten too much and I cut myself every time I had a craving for chocolate. It was terrible. Then I noticed that my little sister was imitating me. She had started eating less and worrying about her figure and that was all sorts of wrong. She was 12 for Christ’s sake. But she was only doing it because big brother was doing it.

“That was what gave me the courage to ask for help, you know? I couldn’t let my insecurities and fears hurt my sister. So I took therapy, got better. Sometimes I still get the urge to make myself throw up and every time I do, I call my sister and talk to her for hours until I feel better.” Jared smiled at Jensen through his teary eyes. “Maybe we just need to love someone enough to not be afraid. Just like Craig and Raina.”

Jared’s eyes were wide and vulnerable, laid open for Jensen to read like a book. He didn’t look so perfect anymore but he was still so beautiful.

“I guess,” Jensen whispered. He took a swing of his beer and went back to watching the stars, occasionally turning to check that Oscar was still in the clearing. Jared’s words echoed in his mind and in the chill of the night Jared felt like a burning furnace next to him. They spent the next few minutes in silence, just living in their own little dream corner of the world.

Like all good things the night came to an end sooner than Jensen would have liked when the air grew too chill for them and when Oscar tired himself out. Jensen drove them back and walked Jared to his yard. It was a good thing that Jensen had to drive and had stayed sober. Otherwise he might have kissed Jared goodbye instead of the simple hug they exchanged.

Jensen wished he had a jar to catch one of the fireflies in and make a wish. If he did he would have wished for that night with Jared to have lasted forever.

But you know, if wishes were horses and all that…

 

 

 

 

Jeffery Dean Morgan was a sweet guy and the only one who had managed to make it to the fourth date with Jensen. He was around Jensen’s age, more mature and mellow, the ‘sit back and go with the tide’ kind of guy. He was also smoking hot. He had no surprises up his sleeve, predictable and reliable like most people at that age are. Pretty much a perfect fit for Jensen.

It was no surprise that Jensen wasn’t really interested in the man.

He invited the guy home anyway. They had already exchange handjobs behind a bar after their third date and it seemed like Jeff was ready for more. Jensen… not so much.

But after that evening with Jared, Jensen decided that he needed to flush (read: fuck) the Jared out of his system before he ended up doing irreparable damage to their friendship. And that was how he found himself fumbling to get the front door open while his date licked behind his ear and rubbed his hard-on through his slacks.

“Jesus! So hot, Jensen,” Jeff groaned into his ear.

Jensen finally managed to get the door open, despite his shaking hands and a raging hard-on. He pushed the door open with his hip and stumbled blindly into the house, hoping that he didn’t break anything. Jensen had a hand around Jeff’s waist which he used to pull the other guy in, rubbing their erections together and eliciting a groan. Jeff practically attacked his mouth with his, the kisses more clashing teeth and tongue fucking than anything else. Jensen ran his hands down Jeff’s strong back, palming his ass and giving a playful squeeze. That caused Jeff to moan into his mouth and start attacking his neck. But he stopped when he heard a loud gasp behind them.

Shit, the dogsitter! Jensen pulled back from Jeff slightly, hoping to give the dogsitter a quick sendoff and get back to business. When he turned around and saw who it was that had caught him in the act, his hard-on wilted down in record time.

Jensen found Jared standing in the living room, Oscar right next to him, looking like he’d just been punched in the gut.

Jeff looked at Jared and then Jensen, sensing the obvious tension between them. “Uh, Jensen?”

Jensen pushed back from Jeff completely and straightened out his clothes. “Jeff, I’m sorry but, can we do this another time? I have some stuff I need to, uh-”

Jeff nodded his understanding. “Sure, man. I’ll uh, I’ll see you later.”

“Later.”

Jeff leaned in and placed a quick kiss on Jensen’s lips before leaving. Jensen stood in the hallway, feeling guilty to his bones and ashamed like he hadn’t been since the first time his parents caught him with a guy. He knew right then that there would be no next time with Jeff.

“I didn’t know you were dating,” Jared said, quiet and subdued.

“I wasn’t.”

“Then who was he?” Jared asked.

“No one.” Jensen looked away from Jared. “What are you doing here? I thought you had a shift tonight.”

“I did but I’ve already worked too many hours this week so Chad’s taking over,” Jared said, his voice flat and emotionless. “I thought we could have a movie night or something but I came over and found that you were out. So I sent you dogsitter home and decided to wait for you.”

Jensen nodded, still struggling to find words to say. This was ridiculous. He and Jared weren’t a thing and Jensen hadn’t even remotely hinted to Jared that they were. He shouldn’t be feeling so damn guilty and Jared certainly shouldn’t be giving him that lost puppy look.

“So you aren’t seeing anyone?” Jared asked.

“No, Jared.”

Jared blew out a breath. “Okay. That’s good. I was scared I was too late.”

That made Jensen look at Jared. “Too late for what?”

“To tell you that you are awesome and that I’d really like to date you?” Jared said with a small, hopeful smile.

There was a moment, a single moment of happiness when all Jensen wanted to do was run over to Jared and kiss him senseless. But that moment vanished as fast as it had arrived.

At this point even Jensen’s self-denial wasn’t strong enough for him to believe that he wasn’t in love with Jared. The only thing that he could hold onto was the hope that Jared’s attraction towards him was nothing more than a passing crush and that he’d be over it as soon as he realized that Jensen wasn’t dating material. But Jared was breaking down that wall of denial and crumbling it to dust.

Jensen shook his head and looked away. He walked over to the couch, discarding his jacket in the process and petting Oscar when he passed him. Jared continued to look at him expectantly. Sitting down, Jensen buried his face in his hands, trying to gather his thoughts. He needed to let Jared down gently. The big kid wore his heart on his sleeve and the last thing Jensen wanted to do was to hurt Jared.

“Jared,” he started and then he ran out of words. He didn’t have any words of platitude or comfort to offer Jared, not when it hurt him to do this just as much.

“Jared, we’d never work,” Jensen said. “We are just too incompatible for this to be anything long term.”

“You don’t know that,” Jared said. He was standing in front of Jensen, looking so strong and tall and yet so vulnerable.

“I do,” Jensen said. “We are too different, Jared. You and I, we are like polar opposites. You like to be out there and make friends and do stuff. I’d never leave the house if I could help it. You are a morning person, I hate mornings. You throw your stuff everywhere, you don’t wipe your feet at the mat before entering, and I’m a clean freak. I live by Murphy’s Law and you are a glass half full kind of guy. Not to mention the huge age gap. I’d never fit in with your friends or the people you hang out with and you won’t fit in with mine. Tell me, how will we ever work out?”

“Those are just excuses, Jensen,” Jared said. He came to stand before Jensen, forcing him to look up at Jared’s stormy face. His voice hadn’t risen since the moment Jensen came through the door but he might as well be screaming at Jensen.

“All of that stuff that you talked about won’t even matter unless we want it to. I’m willing to stay in with you for a quiet night, you are more than okay with accompanying me with my morning jog or letting me get away with dirty shoes. And stop talking like you are 60 or something. 10 years is almost nothing when you are 30, trust me. Besides, I don’t need you to fit in with my friends, Jensen. I just need you to accept them for me and I know you’d do that. Hell, you put up with Chad when he came over.”

“This isn’t a lifetime movie,” Jensen said. “You are young and right now it might seem to you like everything will be alright but it seldom works that way. I’ve been there and done that. And I can’t take a chance again. I just can’t, Jay.” He paused when his voice cracked. “If we do this, we’ll only end up resenting each other. I can’t do that.”

Jared was still for a long while before he nodded. In the faint glow of the street lights outside, Jensen could see that Jared’s eyes were moist. Jensen’s were too. “Okay. If that’s what you think, then fine. I won’t force the issue,” Jared said.

Jensen’s head snapped up to Jared’s face. He honestly hadn’t expected Jared to give in that easily. Jared must have seen Jensen’s confusion on his face because he smiled sadly, his lips dropping into a thin line a moment later. “I’m not going to tell you how to feel Jensen,” he said. “I’m not going to ask you to change and I’m not going to tell you how to think. Enough people have done that already and I won’t be added to that list.” This time Jared’s smile was little stronger but just as short. “But if you ever change your mind, you know where to find me.”

Jared held his gaze for a few moments longer before turning to leave. Oscar started barking, running in front of Jared’s legs as if to stop him. “Down, boy!” Jared said, pushing the dog away gently. Despite Oscar’s persistence, Jared managed to get through the front door and left Jensen and Oscar all alone in the big, dark house.

Oscar came back to Jensen, whining and nosing at his thigh. _Do something, human._

Jensen pulled his dog in close and buried his face in his fur. “We’ll be okay, buddy. We’ll be okay.”

The dog licked at Jensen’s cheek. _Don’t worry. I’m not leaving your sorry ass._

 

 

 

 

For the next week, Jared did his best to avoid Jensen and for the most part was successful in doing so.

He no longer went jogging in the mornings and took up night shifts at the ER. On the rare occasion when he wasn’t working, he went out with Chad. Without Jared to keep him company Jensen felt like he was going stir crazy. Morning jogs weren't as fun when he took then alone, even if he had Oscar with him. Oscar for his part kept trying to break in to Jared's yard after the third Jared-less day. During the whole week Jensen only saw Jared twice and that too was when he was taking out the trash. Jensen wasn’t ashamed to admit that he had camped out on the back porch, hoping to catch a glimpse of Jared. He was simply desperate. He missed Jared so badly that it was a physical pain in his chest.

Logically Jensen knew that Jared wasn’t trying to hurt Jensen but it felt like it anyway. Not that Jensen didn’t think he deserved it, he did. He knew he should give Jared space and time to get over what had happened between them but how long was too long? What if he and Jared never got back to the way they were before? Jensen didn’t want to lose Jared entirely.

Maybe he was too stupid to have hoped that he could have his cake and eat it too. Maybe things would forever be awkward between them. Maybe Jensen had just lost the best thing that had ever happened to him.

That Saturday evening was when Jensen finally got to talk to Jared but the only thing Jared said was goodbye.

Back when they were still talking Jared had told Jensen about the week long holiday he was taking to go see his mom and step-dad in Texas for their wedding anniversary. It was a well deserved holiday that Jared was looking forward to, in hopes of unwinding and relaxing for a few days. Jensen had already known that he’d miss Jared like a sore limb. But when Jensen actually saw the packed bags and the cab waiting to take Jared to the airport, he nearly had a panic attack.

He didn’t want Jared to leave, not when things were so bad between them that Jensen wouldn’t even be able to call him.

Jared spotted him hanging around awkwardly on the sidewalk and approached to him. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

“I’m leaving for Texas. I’ll be back next Sunday,” Jared said and Jensen nodded dumbly.

“Look, I don’t want things to be awkward between us,” Jared said, running a hand through his unkempt hair. “But I need some time. Maybe this vacation will do it. I can’t promise everything will be back the way it was when I come back but hopefully it’ll be better.”

“You don’t hate me, do you?” Jensen asked.

“Of course I don’t, Jensen,” Jared said. “I respect your decisions. If you don’t think a relationship between us would work for you then…” Jared shrugged. “We’re cool. Do I hope you reaction was different? Yeah, definitely. But it’s okay. I’ll live.”

Jared smiled then, holding out his hand to Jensen. “See you later?”

Jensen shook the offered hand and nodded. “Yeah, see you later.”

“Say goodbye to Oscar for me,” Jared added.

“I will.”

“Bye, Jensen,” Jared said, before getting into the cab.

Jensen watched the spot the cab was in for a long time after it left, his gut sinking and a heavy feeling of regret washing over him. When he finally managed to move his legs and get back inside Oscar was there, walking up to Jensen with a wagging tail and trusting eyes, licking at his hand when Jensen offered it. Jensen could tell the dog already missed Jared. He had been getting restless lately, walking around the house searching for something, whining at Jensen and looking for wayward shoes to chew.

Jensen sat on the couch and Oscar climbed next to him, putting his head and forepaws in Jensen’s lap. _I miss him, human_ , Oscar’s weary sigh said.

Jensen hugged him to his chest. “I miss him too. I wish it didn’t have to be this way, you know but, I fucking love him and I-” Jensen cut himself off, not knowing how he was going to finish that sentence. _I have to let him go? I hope I don’t lose him forever? I hope I haven’t made a mistake?_ What was he going to say?

“… I’m scared.”

Oscar looked up at him. “What if the same thing that happened with Danneel happens again?” Jensen asked him. “I honestly don’t think I cared that much with Danneel but if it was Jared I’d be crushed. I’d –hell, I think I’d get on my knees and beg Jared to take me back. What if he ends up resenting me? What if he ends up _regretting_ me?” Oscar whined and bumped his head into Jensen’s stomach. “I love him,” Jensen told him.

Jensen petted Oscar’s head and the dog licked into his palm. _You are an idiot but at least you got me_.

Jensen smiled. “Yeah. Getting you might have been the best decision I made.”

Looking at Oscar then, Jensen realized how far they’d come from the first day Jensen had brought him home. Oscar had since grown to completely trust Jensen; even letting him put a leash on without complaint because he knew that Jensen wasn’t going to abandon him. Jensen honestly didn’t know how Oscar did that. There was a pretty good chance that Jensen could have turned out like his previous owners but Oscar had still put his faith in him.

Oscar was given a second chance and he was brave enough to take it.

What the fuck was Jensen doing with his second chance?

“I love him,” Jensen echoed. And that was it. That was the only reason why Jensen should put his heart out on the line again and take a chance with Jared. But that one reason was enough.

“I need to get to the airport,” Jensen told himself and got to his feet. Oscar barked his agreement.

Jensen ended up running to the Impala with his dog and its wagging tail in tow. He didn’t even bother to change out of his sweatpants, just slid into the muscle car and gunned it down.

“You aren’t supposed to be in the car,” Jensen told Oscar, who was currently riding shotgun, his tongue lolling out and his tail moving furiously behind him. Like Jensen, Oscar looked alive for the first time in the past week. “But screw the rules, yeah?”

Oscar let out a woof. _Damn straight, baby._

Jensen put the pedal to the floor, bypassing slow old women and over cautious moms in his hurry. The traffic was fairly light for a weekend and Jensen took full advantage of it. But soon enough he found himself with a tail. The red and blue lights of the police car forced him pull up to the shoulder and Jensen did something he had never done in his life – lie to an officer of the law.

“Oscar, lie down,” Jensen said and Oscar quickly rolled onto his side on the car seat with his tongue still hanging out. Jensen only had a moment to bask in his pride before the cop came over.

“License and registration, please,” the man asked in a weary voice. Clearly he didn’t want to be doing this anymore than Jensen did.

“Officer, I’d show you my papers and my clean bill of zero parking tickets in forever,” Jensen said in the same charming voice that he used when talking to fans, making sure to add an edge of panic to it, “but my dog is really sick and I need to get him to the vet. This is an emergency, sir, I hope you can understand.”

The man ducked to look at the dog in the passenger seat. Oscar for his part was playing the role of sick dog pretty well – eyes glazed over, harsh pants, lolling tongue.

“What’s wrong with it?” the officer asked.

Jensen mentally groaned. This was taking too long! “I don’t know. He was fine all evening and then suddenly collapsed. So, please, it might be something serious.” Jensen pulled out an imitation of Jared’s puppy eyes. “He’s my best friend in the whole world. If you have pets I think you’d understand. I can’t let anything happen to him. He’s my baby.”

The guy’s wrinkled up face scrunched in thought and he scratched at his five o’ clock shadow. He sighed. “I guess I could let this one slide since it’s a case of emergency.”

“Thank you, sir, I’ll be sure to send you a gift card to the precinct,” Jensen said, already starting up the engine.

“But drive safe,” the man said even as Jensen began to roll up his window. “You don’t want any more emergencies.”

“Sure,” Jensen said, pulling away and speeding even faster. “Good boy,” he said, petting Oscar without taking his eyes off the road.

The dog sat up and barked. _I’m awesome_.

“Yeah, you are,” Jensen said with a laugh. He seriously had the best dog in the world.

It was a damn miracle that Jensen had gotten to the airport without incident. The moment the car stopped in the parking lot Jensen was out, Oscar following him right behind. They navigated through the crowd outside the entrance, throwing in a few “excuse me”s and “pardon me”s and the occasional bark into the air as they went.

When they reached the check in point Oscar barreled through the metal detector, startling the security guards and the civilians enough that they didn’t react quickly when Jensen pushed past them. But a moment later he heard the guards coming after him. “Hey, you! Stop! I said freeze!”

 _Yeah, like I would._ Jensen ran towards the check in area, Oscar running ahead of him and moving people out of his way as he went. There were gasps all around him, people were staring and there were at least five security officers after him. In normal circumstances Jensen would have probably had a nervous breakdown. He simply ran faster, eyes searching for Jared as he went.

Jensen knew Oscar had found Jared when he heard the big dog bark and Jensen followed his sound. He found Jared in the airport waiting area, Oscar at his feet and people around him staring at him like he was a bomb waiting to go off – probably a bad metaphor considering where they were but Jensen couldn’t be bothered to think up a better one.

Because Jared was staring at him with a shocked smile on his face, like he couldn’t believe that this was happening but still glad that it was.

“Jensen? What?”

“Jared!” Jensen gasped, wasting no time in running over to the man he loved and pulling him into a hard kiss. Jared flailed his arms around, too shocked to respond. Jensen didn’t have time for an epic make out session anyway. He pulled back and started talking fast when he heard the guards closing in.

“I know this whole thing is crazy and I’m probably crazy but I really don’t want you to go. I was stupid to let you go in the first place. You were right. We can make this work. You know why?” Jared shook his head, frozen in place. “Because I fucking love you. I love you enough to not be afraid, Jared. You are the Raina to my Craig. And I’m willing to give this a chance if you are.”

Jensen didn’t get a chance to hear Jared’s answer because the next moment the guards were on him, throwing him to the ground and pressing a knee to the middle of his back. Handcuffs were fastened around his wrists and he was roughly manhandled upright. There was a guy with a catch pole trying to get Oscar.

“No, no. Don’t hurt him,” Jensen yelled. “Oscar, down, boy. Down.” The dog calmed down immediately and sat down, letting the security guards approach him. “He’s good, I swear. You don’t have to be rough with him. He won’t give you any trouble,” Jensen told the guy who was talking into a comm and giving orders. The guard looked at him like he was crazy.

He turned to Jared. “Sir, do you know this man?” he asked.

Jared nodded like he was still in a daze. He looked at Jensen and for a moment Jensen imagined Jared telling the officer that Jensen was his crazy stalker or something. But Jared smiled at him, bright and dimpled and said, “Yeah, officer. He’s my boyfriend.”

“Sir, I’m going to need you to turn around…”

Jared wasn’t paying any attention to the man as he turned around and placed his wrists behind his back. He was still looking at Jensen, smiling like a kid on a Christmas day, dark hair falling onto his face. In the bright lights of the airport waiting hall Jensen could see the blush on Jared’s cheeks. In another moment of insanity, Jensen winked at Jared and the blush deepened.

 

Five hours later Jared, Jensen and Oscar were still sitting in the airport security office while Jensen’s publicist and lawyer dealt with the TSA. There was a pretty good chance that Jensen would spend his Sunday locked up in a cell for his misconduct. And he sure as hell was going to have to pay a hefty fine. But he couldn’t stop smiling.

“You could have called, you know?” Jared whispered. The guard that was watching them narrowed his eyes at them. Oscar stirred in his cage next to them.

This was the first time Jared had talked to Jensen since his stunt. They simply hadn’t had the chance to with the security breathing down their neck. That hadn’t stopped them from sharing little smiles whenever they were in the same room or stealing little touches as much as their cuffed hands would allow them.

“My phone had died,” Jensen admitted. That wasn’t entirely false. Jensen’s phone had died but even if it hadn’t Jensen probably wouldn’t have thought to call Jared. Not only was that less dramatic but Jensen didn’t believe in making huge revelations like proclaiming your love for someone over the phone.

Jared nodded. He too couldn’t seem to stop smiling and Jensen found it adorable. “I should probably call my mamma and tell her I won’t be coming home.”

Jensen smiled sheepishly. “Yeah, sorry about that.”

“Don’t be. I want to stay.”

“Yeah?”

Jared nodded. “Yeah.” They were sharing the same air now and Jared was looking at him like Jensen was something precious. “I didn’t get a chance to say it earlier,” Jared said, leaning in until their noses were almost touching. “But, I don’t want to be your Raina. Craig and Raina didn’t make it in the end. I don’t want that happening to us. I just want to be your Jared.”

Jensen shook his head a little, feeling Jared’s hair brush his forehead. “You already are.”

“Oh, get a room you two,” the guard groaned.

Jensen and Jared burst out laughing. Despite the guard’s annoyed words Jensen leaned in to kiss Jared softly once more before sitting back. Jared followed him, snuggling in close until they were touching from shoulder to hip and putting his head on Jensen’s shoulder with a sigh. Jensen looked at Oscar to see how he was doing. The dog barked. _Way to go, human_.

That morning when he woke up Jensen was a lonely, miserable, law abiding citizen and the most exciting this he had done was a drunken rave after his high school graduation party. Now, Jensen was sitting in a TSA office, hands cuffed behind his back and a guard armed with a taser glaring daggers at him. A video of him bursting into the airport with a dog in tow would probably make it to YouTube before sunrise and he would be a viral sensation. He’d done things that he wouldn’t even dream of doing on any other day but at that moment he knew it was all worth it.

Jared was worth it.

Besides, Jensen had the most awesome dog in the world. Everything would be just fine.

 

 

 

 

**_A few months later…_ **

 

Something wasn’t right about the coloring and Jensen couldn’t figure out what it was. It was a tricky scene. The character’s world was crumbling down around him, every little memory and thought he had in the dreamscape falling to pieces. It had very little dialogue and what dialogue there was, Jensen had crafted it so that it wouldn’t take the focus away from the visuals. This was the payoff, the scene that the whole story had been building up to and Jensen had to communicate the intensity of the scene through a few panels. Everything had to be just right and it wasn’t.

Jensen leaned back in his chair, dry scrubbing his face with his hands. What was he doing wrong?

Two warm, strong hands pressed into the tense muscles of his shoulders and Jensen groaned. He was so caught up in his story world that he hadn’t noticed Jared coming in.

“Hey.”

“Hey, yourself,” Jensen said, arching his back towards Jared’s nimble fingers. “Mmm… that feels good.”

“You should come to bed. It’ll feel even better if you are lying down,” Jared said.

“You gonna give me a massage if I come now?”

“If you play your cards right, I might give you something more,” Jared whispered, bending down to nibble at Jensen’s lips. Jensen’s fingers carded into Jared’s hair as he kissed back.

“Hmm… How can I say no to that?”

Jensen pulled away from Jared, saved his work and put the computer into sleep mode before following his boyfriend out of the study. As he left, the Joker poster caught his eye. It didn’t occupy the place of pride in Jensen’s office any longer but shared it with another frame. The other one that Jensen had put up recently was a panel from a short graphic novella that Jensen had done recently and left unpublished. Chris had thought that the book was great and wanted to publish it but Jensen didn’t. The story was just for him, Jared and Oscar.

The novella was about a guy taking a road trip with a stray dog that had started following him around. A simple short piece about friendship and second chances. The picture hanging on the wall was of the last panel of the novella, illustrating the guy and his dog staring into the sunset. It was cheesy, yes, but it pulled Jensen out of his funks whenever he got too engrossed with his darker characters.

A few months ago Jensen wouldn’t have left the office without finishing the scene and fixing whatever was wrong with it. But now he was content to let it sit for a night and pick it up the next day. Sure, he still loved his work just as much and was still dedicated to it but he had something that he loved even more – Jared.

Oscar was on their bed, looking at him with an expression that could only mean _Are you going to fuck?_

“You’re probably gonna want to leave the room, buddy,” Jensen told him and the dog huffed.

Jared climbed in between the sheets and held his arms out for Jensen and Jensen willing went into his embrace.

“You spoil him too much,” Jared said, in between kisses. “He should be sleeping in the dog bed.”

“Hey, I’m not the one who lets him get away with putting his dirty paws on the couch after a run,” Jensen argued, breaking away from Jared’s lips to kiss along Jared’s jawline.

“Mmmm… You give him too many treats,” Jared said. He tipped his head back to give Jensen more room to work with while running his hands up and down Jensen’s chest and back.

“You sure about that? I caught you sneaking him treats twice this week.”

“I can’t help it. Every time I have candy he just looks at me with wide eyes like I’m starving him or something.”

“Mhmm…” Jensen hummed into Jared’s throat. Jared’s hand was pleasantly close to his already half-hard cock and Jensen pushed his hips up to encourage him. Just a little lower… Just there–

Oscar took that moment to make his presence known and jump on Jensen’s chest, knocking the breath out of him and sending Jared into a fit of giggles. The dog barked happily and slobbered all over Jensen’s face.

“You are the biggest cock block in history. I hope you know that,” Jensen told his wingman. Oscar barked. _I know_.

Jared propped himself up on one elbow and pulled Oscar in closer. “Oh, someone wants attention, now, does he? Who’s good boy? You are. Yes, you are.” Jared continued to coo at the cock blocking dog and Oscar wagged his tail and rolled over under Jared’s attention. The two of them play tussled for a while and the room was filled with the sound of laughter and incessant barking.

Jensen simply leaned back and enjoyed the view. Family, he thought. He liked the thought of him, Jared and Oscar being a family. Maybe Jared would like it as much as he did. It was a guess since they had barely been dating for a year but, it was a chance Jensen was willing to take.

Maybe tomorrow Jensen will pull out the ring that he had been hiding in the sock drawer. He wouldn’t get on one knee, no, he was too old for that shit. Maybe he and Oscar could stage some more airport theatrics. Jared seemed to love those.

That night Jensen went to bed with a smile on his face and a plan in his mind. He didn’t notice that it had been a year to the day since he had finalized his divorce with Danneel and decided that all hope for love and romance was lost. Looking back on that one year, Jensen would say his midlife crisis had been pretty kind to him.

 

_fin_

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm such a royal procrastinator! Le sigh. Now I have my J2 and Wincest Big Bangs to get to. You can find me on tumblr [here](http://hafireika.tumblr.com).


End file.
